Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
Earlier this week, during the daily lunch-rush feeding frenzy at the University Center’s Panda Express, the wait time for this inauthentic — yet no less delicious — cuisine reached an all-time h...
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In an effort to acquire young single listeners, Spotify has released an eight-hour-long playlist featuring the ambient back-and-forths of couples arguing. The “Couples Arguing” playlist features a...
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Freshmen, you’ve almost made it through your first year of college, and we at Nexustentialism would like to sincerely congratulate you! We believe that a fitting celebration would be mentally breaki...
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Students of History 178B: US Wealth and Poverty have found that somehow, all class content ties back to non-traditional and fellow student Tammy Oblesky’s son, Ethan.
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After switching her major from biochemistry to medieval studies, third-year Ima Noying has longed to fill the empty void in her heart that used to be nourished by the steady source of suffering associ...
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This alumni weekend was said to cause nostalgia in old Gauchos who came back for one last hurrah. So much nostalgia, in fact, that multiple alumni were seen trying to rekindle romances with their drun...
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This weekend, in unprecedented fashion, Isla Vista witnessed an absolute first that shocked the local authorities. What was that first? Isla Vista experienced no racist incidents for the first time si...
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Alumni weekend provides former Gauchos a chance to escape the grueling reality of adulthood by letting them roam around their old stomping grounds to relive the peak of their existence. Between awkwar...
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In eager anticipation for the 2019 UC Santa Barbara Alumni Weekend, Isla Vista’s own retirement home, Friendship Manor, is planning a spring rush in the hopes of gaining pledges in the form of UCSB'...
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A lot can change in a year. Students come and go, relationships will form and crumble and people keep deciding to switch majors. However, some things will never change.
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It’s almost alumni weekend here at UCSB, and with flocks of former Gauchos returning to campus, the university’s academic ranking is dropping by the second.
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At approximately 1:17 pm, it was reported that the entire UCSB campus network went down, but your boyfriend still won’t. In fact, the UCSB wifi goes down on you all the time, but can you remember th...
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UC SANTA BARBARA - At approximately 1:17 p.m. this Wednesday, the UCSB campus network went down. This resulted in the loss of internet access across the entire campus in addition to the loss of access...
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As the second weekend of the famous music festival Coachella came to a close this Sunday, many Gauchos returned to Isla Vista with great memories, debt and hangovers. Not wanting to ever forget their ...
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Recently, Gauchospace released yet another of its periodic site updates — this time including the addition of each user’s student ID photo to its homepage, which students must access in order to v...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
