Stories from Storke: 2022-23 Senior Reflections

June 1, 2023 by , and

Graduating Nexus seniors reflect on their time under Storke Tower.
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Letter From the Editor: New Name, Same Stench

January 26, 2023 by

And while we will remember our time as “Nexustentialism” fondly, we, the current editors, respectfully, need a goddamn upgrade. 
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I Lived It: Bearing The Burden Of Being The Funniest Bitch In The GroupMe

July 3, 2022 by

I am too funny for the society I find myself buried within.
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Daily Nexus “Best Of” Winners 2021-22

May 27, 2022 by , , , , , , , , , and

The Nexus surveys the UCSB student community annually to pick the best locations and services within the local area based on voting through a Google Form. The winners of our survey are listed here.
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Festive! Sunday Scaries Temporarily Rebranded to Sunday Spookies

October 28, 2021 by

What a treat! Now, as you attempt to cope with the unbearable weight of the seventeen assignments you procrastinated atop your shoulders on a daunting Monday eve, you can think about two ghosts holdin...
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Cottage Hospital Introduces ICU Bunk Beds

September 23, 2021 by and

Patients at Cottage reportedly enjoy the new bunk bed experience. In addition to inter-patient intercourse skyrocketing 76%, patient morale seems to have been boosted by the new project as well.
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Storke in the Age of COVID-19: UCSB’s Favorite Tower To Chime Each Hour on New Facebook Livestream

April 27, 2020 by

  Upon the March 25 announcement that UC Santa Barbara officials had “no intention” to adjust tuition for a remote spring quarter, students were forced to face the harsh reality that all thei...
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Phony in Phelps! TA Actually Eight Raccoons in Button-up, Khakis

March 1, 2020 by

PHELPS HALL — A wave of disillusionment fell over the faces of 20 wide-eyed pupils Thursday upon their discovery that their beloved teaching assistant, lack of living wage and all, was not the mathe...
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UCSB Introduces Department of Student Vibes

February 14, 2020 by

UC Santa Barbara officials announced Tuesday that an all-new student-resource department would be making its way to campus in the fall of 2020: the Department of Student Vibes. In the brand-new Studen...
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Excess Waffle Batter Oozing from Waffle Machine Reminder That You’re a Failure

February 6, 2020 by

ORTEGA DINING COMMONS ‒ A shallow pool of wasted waffle batter solemnly finds itself spread out upon a pitiful tin pan underneath the machine for which it was intended. For second-year student Emma ...
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Heroes of Isla Vista: Hoe Doesn’t Get Cold

February 1, 2020 by

ISLA VISTA, CALIF. — Third-year student Lindsay Thompson has been turning heads this frigid winter quarter in the classic tube top and miniskirt combo — but Thompson, a Santa Barbara six at best, ...
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Horoscopes: Fart Edition

November 28, 2019 by

  ARIES (March 21 – April 19) See how long you can make your next fart last. You may be surprised by the result.   GEMINI (May 21- June 20) Be on the watch for two farts for the price ...
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How to Survive UCSB Flu Season

October 31, 2019 by

  It’s that time of year again — the skeletons are both spooky and scary, the usually bustling streets of Isla Vista have grown hauntingly quiet and during lecture, you’re surrounded on all...
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Freshman and Former NASA Intern Can’t Wrap Head Around Bike Loops

September 26, 2019 by

  A river of tears sprung from the face of incoming freshman Enya Stein last week as she helplessly puzzled through her first encounter with the UC Santa Barbara bike paths.  Stein, despite grad...
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