ISLA VISTA, CA — You heard it here first, Gauchos. We here at Nexustentialism — as the highest authority on all things goop, grime, slime and spook — have decided to get a little festive. Do a little influencing. That’s why this year, to try (and probably fail) to make midterm season a little less soul-suffocating, we’re getting into the holiday spirit and deeming the “Sunday Scaries” officially out. The “Sunday Spookies” are in.

What a treat! Now, as you attempt to cope with the unbearable weight of the seventeen assignments you procrastinated atop your shoulders on a daunting Monday eve, you can think about two ghosts holding hands! Neat, right? That midterm won’t study for itself, but how cute is that little evite with a pumpkin on it? 

Time to get spooky! Try getting into the Halloween mood by updating your planner. The crushing pressure of all your little tasks laid out in front of you is sure to help you picture the walls starting to close in on you, almost like a fun little haunted house! For an added spook factor, don’t reference your planner at all for the rest of the week as you try to recall all of your responsibilities from memory! ‘Tis a fright not even the spookiest gremlins, goblins and ghosts could face!

Still looking for a fright but on top of your shit? First of all, we hate you. Second, here is our recommendation: hold a seance for ghosts of midterms’ past, or just think about every mistake you’ve ever made! Every person you’ve ever hurt. Every loved one you’ve lost. The fact that one day you will be nothing more than bones in the ground and there is not a single thing you can do about it.

BOO! Did I scare ya? 

Sierra Vakili wants to kiss a ghost.

A version of this article appeared on p. 12 of the Oct. 28, 2021 print edition of the Daily Nexus.