Fuck! I forgot to bring my box of condoms to juggling club
Meeting on Fridays in front of Storke Tower, the group preaches their love of all things juggling and circus arts, but also their love for safe sex.
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The Daily Stench
Meeting on Fridays in front of Storke Tower, the group preaches their love of all things juggling and circus arts, but also their love for safe sex.
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Call me Narcissus, but I think this Narcissus is rightfully deserving of some kisses-us.
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And while we will remember our time as “Nexustentialism” fondly, we, the current editors, respectfully, need a goddamn upgrade.
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I’m not even playing with you, I was looking to my left and everyone was crying. Not because the movie was emotional, but because they had to pee that badly.
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If you see me popping my pussy in a parka, either tell me that you like my outfit or stay in your fucking lane.
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“And then it hit me,” said UCSB A.S. President Samantha Jamantha. “The solution had been there all along. We had to start 69-ing.”
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I was tearing through my plate, eating and nom-nomming away like I had no other cares in the world. That was when the trouble began.
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Observing his surroundings with a newfound sense of superiority, he swelled with pride knowing that he was simply better than the mindless drones of the world around him.
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“We just really love parades,” club founder Turr Keybut explained. “They’re the only part of life that goes by slowly. Sometimes, you just have to appreciate that about them.”
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This year, I especially want to thank everyone who invited their mom for Parents’ Weekend, and I want to assure you that we had a lovely time together last night.
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“Oh, it was absolutely horrible,” the Goleta Chief of Police Owen K. Bacon said. “From what Detective Rodriguez described, they weren’t even allowed their Sony headphones.”
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“Speed. I am speed. 42 bitters. 42 boozers. I eat boozers for breakfast.”
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Ever since the most famous split in DP history — other than when the deck fell from the cliff — Cockrey has been reportedly “on his king shit” trying to move on from Malessence.
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