Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
World peace was declared on Wednesday after UC Santa Barbara’s Associated Students passed a resolution to condemn war. Fearing they would become the next victim in a long list of global organization...
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Ever wondered how to establish dominance over your roommate? Well look no further, these are the best ways to become the alpha.
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Fellas, get rid of your feminist literature books and false love for matcha, as the fastest way to get ladies to drop their panties in today's day and age is a half-tuned guitar and a semi-courageous,...
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By this time of the year, all you degenerates have already skipped at least one or two lectures. And if you say you haven’t, then you’re a liar and a degenerate. Skipping a lecture is an art form,...
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Daily Nexus sources have found that the best way to manipulate a woman is to display an interest in her music taste. Upon meeting her, a man should inquire about said music taste, gaining bonus points...
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Sometimes, walking on the sidewalks or pathways on campus can be so treacherous. It can be uneven, dusty and humiliating. Thankfully, UC Santa Barbara already has dedicated, even walkways for pedestri...
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A constant in the life of a residential UCSB student is the ever-present fear of fire alarms going off at any hour, day or night. You have not truly lived in the dorms until you have been on the lawn ...
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As a Bay Area native, I grew up surrounded by authentic, world-class Asian cuisine. Classic dim sum, delicious pho, fresh sushi and so much more were always within reach. However, I always took issue ...
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Catherine Kegel, a second-year biology major at UC Santa Barbara, announced in her ANTH3 section on Friday that she feels “deeply connected” to the Hawaiian islands after her most recent family va...
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Under the hot sun, a pack of creatures gathers in the distance. Creeping through bushes littered with discarded red Solo cups and plastic bags, we get a closer look at these specimens. Here on the Ana...
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In the wake of Santa Rosa Residence Hall’s projected demolition in the 2026-27 school year, UC Santa Barbara’s rat population has protested their loss of housing. These rats have established histo...
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After failing my midterms, I have reached a moment of enlightenment: The real degree was the friends we made along the way.
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As a freshman, leaving De La Guerra (DLG) for the first time felt like surviving the apocalypse. Free of the active laxatives they lace their food with, now second-year Jenna Ortega remembered returni...
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Have you heard of the “R word?” Well, despite your initial reaction, most news outlets are too scared to write out “recession” (not the other one). But here at Nexustentialism, we aren’t afr...
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With the Associated Students elections on the horizon, candidates are taking part in the annual tradition of setting up campaign signs on campus. While the main goal of these signs is to gain supporte...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
