Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

November 5, 2014

30 Thoughts Everyone Has While on the Bikepaths at UCSB

By Ava Talehakimi, Robert Johnson

Don’t slow down or move aside for anyone — true in life, true on the bike path.

November 4, 2014

Overheard in Isla Vista: Halloween Edition

By Nexustentialism Staff

Instead of wrapping up the weekend in quotes, Nexustentialism decided to take it to the streets when it came to Halloweekend in IV.

November 2, 2014

19 Best Halloweekend Costumes

By Anna Kodelashvili

We were looking beyond basic kittens and sexy nerds.

October 29, 2014

Top 5 Movies With Penetration (On Netflix)

By Kevin Clark

This is a list (in no particular order) of what I consider to be the best movies available on Netflix that have full penetration. These are films that put our guts and our meat on display instead of keeping them under th...

October 28, 2014

Frat Guys: Expectations vs. Reality

By Chidi Agu

We had to do it.

October 27, 2014

Overheard in IV

By Maya Rao

Isla Vista: the Holy Grail of underage drinking and the epitome of college towns. Us hardworking and dedicated students of UCSB may be studious during the day but by nightfall, we know how to let loose … a little too w...

October 24, 2014

9 Ways To Master Sex in a Bunk Bed

By Anne Felicitas

Moving out of your parents' house and moving in to a place of your own in college is a great opportunity … for sex. Well, it's also a great opportunity for independence and self-discovery, but mostly sex. However, thos...

October 24, 2014

Yang the Giant to Perform at UCSB

By Carissa Quiambao, Liana Bevacqua, Robert Johnson

Out-of-towners crowdin’ your lawns? Headache-inducing floodlights ruinin’ your buzz? No-music ordinances killin’ your vibe? No way! Come join the many faces of Yang in the Thunderdome on Halloween instead of...

October 22, 2014

10 Things UCSB Alum Steve Aoki Can Probably Do

By Brian Crotty

Survey results were recently released that ranked UCSB alumni among the "least dateable". Personally, I think these results are entirely absurd. UCSB alumni are among the greatest in the world, and include amazing people...

October 21, 2014

Retraction: “ISIS Seizes FT, Establishes Gaucho Caliphate”

By Daily Nexus Editorial Board

The Daily Nexus has retracted the satirical Nexustentialism blog post titled “ISIS Seizes FT, Establishes Gaucho Caliphate,” published at 5 a.m. on Oct. 21, due to the piece’s lack of proper editorial ...

October 21, 2014

ISIS Seizes FT, Establishes Gaucho Caliphate

By destiny starchild

Members of the jihadist Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, took control of Santa Catalina Residence Hall, also known as F.T., late Friday night and declared the dormitory the “Gaucho Caliphate,” enacting a str...

October 20, 2014

Overheard in Isla Vista

By Tryna Function

As we all know, people in Isla Vista live for the weekends. After a long hard week at school, students look forward to a relaxing, fun weekend. This could range from a night in or a night roaming the streets of I.V. Whil...

October 15, 2014

Pumpkin Shortage Incites Sorority Outrage

By Mad Carl, Major Benjamin Pu

Due to a particularly warm and dry summer, many local farms are reporting lower-than-average pumpkin yields, creating a severe pumpkin shortage in the greater Santa Barbara County area and eliciting fear over potential s...

October 9, 2014

10 Questionable Yik Yaks You Need to See

By Liana Bevacqua

As I recently scrolled through my Twitter feed, I stumbled upon an ad for Yik Yak, and in a boredom-induced impulse, I downloaded this mysterious app. What I discovered was life-changing: people make posts that get voted...