Being sober at a party where everyone else isn’t can definitely be annoying because of people pushing and bumping into you, the heat and smell from dancing the night away, and the infinite amount of drinks that are probably going to end up on your shirt or in your lap. But it is also very amusing to watch people after they have been drinking. The whole night all I could think was “gosh, am I like that?” No judgments though, because we have all had those nights. I recommend you try it one weekend. The best part is reminding people the next morning of everything that happened and having a good laugh about it.

8 PM: I get to the pre-game: everyone is just sitting around listening to music, socializing and drinking. Nothing unusual yet, but the potential is there.

9 PM: The alc is now officially coming into effect. One girl is already wasted after taking 3 shots, and everyone else isn’t very far behind.



9:30 PM: Another person shows up as we’re about to leave, and immediately begins shotgunning beer in a futile attempt to catch up.

9:45 PM: We walk to the party. Everyone is turnt and shouting at random people (or potential new friends??) as they pass by. Some guy tries to hit on one of the girls I am with.
Guy: Do you want to come party with me?
Girl: Are you gonna buy me Freebirds?

10:00 PM: We get to the party, and everyone I’m with is on a good one. What happens when you put a bunch of drunk and horny people in one room where the music is blasting and the alcohol is flowing? Shit goes down.

10:10 PM: At this point everyone who I came with is on some level that I am nowhere near. Some people are dancing, some are off playing beer pong. One girl misses a shot and says to her friend, “I was never good at sports.”


10:22 PM: I look to my left and see a couple attacking each other with their tongues. True I.V. love story.

10:35 PM: Of course there is the obligatory creepy guy that keeps trying to dance with girls in the most non-subtle way ever. He goes up to a girl and her friend; she looks at him, says “NO!” and walks away. He retreats, I laugh.

10:57 PM: More dancing. Blank Space comes on and all the DABs shout along with the lyrics as loud as they possibly can.

11:03 PM: “BODY SHOTS!”

11:08 PM: Guys claiming physical ability they don’t even have sober.

11:14 PM: Shirts come off. I fold them neatly, daydreaming about how proud my boss at American Eagle would be.

11:19 PM: Ah, I found them. Those people that spend more of their time taking Snapchats of the party than they do actually having fun at the party. I overhear one of them say, “OMG I’m gonna send this to UCSBYAK!” to which her friend replies, “They don’t exist anymore dumb ass!”

11:36 PM: Some girl is off to the side crying while her friends try to console her.


11:43 PM: I keep getting bumped into by people who are either grinding or making out. Life is great.

11:51 PM: I haven’t heard un-slurred speech in over two hours. I can’t understand any of them, and they are all way too gone to understand me.

12:06 AM: There’s a guy I’ve never seen before passed out on the couch, and in the bathroom there is a girl throwing up while all her friends try to help her. You know, the usual I.V. party scene.

12:21 AM: The night nears an end, and the bottles do too. People start to stumble out.

12:30 am: We head back to the place where we pre-gamed and everyone is just sitting down talking about how much fun they had.

1:00 AM: No signs of life anywhere other than the lingering evidence of puke. At least everyone made it out and back in one piece (as far as I know), so technically it was a successful night.