Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
After 2025’s Deltopia, UCSB’s annual celebration of the beginning of spring quarter, the iconic Del Playa Drive crumbled completely to the ocean. Organizers already anticipate the block party for ...
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For many Gauchos, Deltopia, UC Santa Barbara’s biggest dayge, is the height of the coupling season. Out in the sunlight, all is laid bare for God and Yang to see, leading to many tender moments thro...
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In preparation for Isla Vista’s annual block party, Deltopia, UCSB students have begun littering Del Playa Drive in order to give visitors an authentic taste of Gaucho life. Students have been spott...
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It is common knowledge that the top three floors of UC Santa Barbara’s Library, numbering floors six through eight, are the quiet floors, where speaking or making any sort of noise above slightly ag...
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Not even the ocean can keep you safe from getting slammed with the tire of death, as seen yesterday at Campus Point, when a surfboarder looked up from attempting to ride the tube on 4-foot waves and w...
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Another great Deltopia weekend has come and gone in the sunny streets of Isla Vista. Students poured out this past weekend for the event, bikini-clad for their treks across Del Playa. As early as 4:20...
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“Deltopia” was recently added as a Best Picture nominee at the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony, following public pressure to recognize what The Hollywouldn’t Reporter deemed as “the best film...
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Presidents Day weekend is a sight for sore college student eyes. Coming swiftly after midterms, the three-day weekend was the perfect break for UC Santa Barbara students to relax, taking in all that I...
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Rounding out the final session of pass times, many fourth-years found themselves, for once, at ease. Finally, the first group to get their greedy little hands on classes, mostly everyone was satisfied...
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Every year when Valentine's day finally arrives, the question flooding girl group chats is “What should I get my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?” It's a challenge to find the perfect gift for a m...
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Love entered my life when I received that text from that unknown number. “Hey Chris, it’s Jared. Just got a new number.” I giggled. Silly Jared, I’m not Chris. I replied to the message, tellin...
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Hot take: college is like preschool. College students must painfully relearn how to make friends and share their things. And, college students’ immune systems seem to have a major regression, becomi...
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Drake has announced that he has purchased a ticket to the Super Bowl to see Kendrick Lamar perform during the Super Bowl LIX halftime show, despite his tour having a show scheduled for that same day i...
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In 2016, I felt like I couldn’t even walk through my neighborhood without seeing someone shaking ass. Online. On the wall. On the ground. Upside down. Inside out. Everyone was throwing it back. Now,...
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With the arrival of Isla Vista's hottest new eligible bachelor, Boba Bot, UC Santa Barbara fraternities are turning to cyberphobia. While fraternities are recognized to be safe and accepting havens fo...
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Who’s a good borg
The Noteborg
No one borgs the wicked
Lay on the borg to prove that it haunts me
Wouldn’t you like to know weather borg
Ruth Bader Ginsborg
Borg is moving to Paris
Breaking Borg
Doofenschmirtz Evil Inborgorated
Borgasm
Oui Oui Borgette
To all the borgs I’ve loved before
