Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
The mysterious “dark side of the Moon” has long been the topic of LSD-ridden rock bands and TikTok witches, but few have asked if the Moon even wants her dark side to be seen.
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This time of year, many simpletons are engaging in “Coachella.” However, I am above that kind of unintellectual activity. Instead, I participate in Couchella, which is a far more refined experienc...
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Never reliable. Lies about location. Always late. Never there for you when you need it. Always seen with other people.
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In a development that has changed the lives of the chronically online and proved as yet another loss for the productive, UC Santa Barbara gained global notoriety and prestige after emerging victorious...
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By the time spring quarter rolls around, most microtrends hanging in your closet are out of fashion, meaning you need to find a new aesthetic to base your personality off of for the next few months. W...
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With college acceptances having come in waves throughout the month of March, high school seniors are now faced with the incredibly tough task of saying “I do” to a college. These same colleges mus...
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Avert your eyes: There’s a cuteness overload roaming the streets of Isla Vista!
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In what is being called a “masterclass in imaginative scholarship,” a UC Santa Barbara student has turned in a literary analysis essay without opening a single assigned book. The essay, supposedly...
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As pass 3 course registration begins, students must once again brace against the reminders of their lack of priority registration.
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In an incident that has left life science students shaken to their core and the rest of the student body virtually unsurprised, a student interrupted an EEMB 2 lecture on Monday to make an unexpected,...
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Last weekend in Isla Vista was like a movie. And by movie I mean “‘Wuthering Heights’” (2026).
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The Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors voted to impose a 72-hour noise ordinance the weekend of Deltopia, the — formerly — largest annual college party in the country. After backlash from s...
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Chinese New Year fell on Tuesday, Feb. 17 and offered people around the world the chance to start the year anew. In the face of failed resolutions only two months into 2026, many people have jumped at...
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After years of promoting realistic body standards, combating toxic diet culture and planting like three size-six women in Hollywood, the world order has finally been returned: early 2000s-style skinny...
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Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and with it often comes the realization that maybe you could be treating yourself better. Taken too many walks of shame recently? Maybe it’s time to ditch that ...
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KATSEYE
Laufey
Justin Bieber
Geese
Karol G
Addison Rae
PinkPantheress
Ethel Cain
Sabrina Carpenter
Dijon
The Strokes
FKA Twigs
