Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
In an event that has experts desperately searching for solutions and the employed scratching their heads, approximately 1,000 students at UC Santa Barbara are in an irreversible state of hysteria afte...
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With midterm season waning and library hours back after popular demand, UC Santa Barbara has released a list of alternative study spots just in time to accommodate absolutely nobody. With student comf...
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Amidst budget cuts due to the ongoing government shutdown, the Federal Aviation Administration announced this morning that Santa Barbara Airport will permanently suspend commercial flight operations. ...
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Commemorating the one-year anniversary of the presidential election, local UC Santa Barbara student and third-year doomscroll studies major Evan Ignorami announced on Oct. 28 that he was “deeply uns...
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With California’s special election approaching, state Democrats have gone on the campaign trail to pass Proposition 50 into law. Chief among these politicians has been California’s governor and fu...
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In accordance with the wishes of our beloved well-endowed president, UCSB has renovated its curriculum, replacing all the ugly WOKENESS with PATRIOTIC teachings. Here is a list of our beloved leader...
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A sinister feel has settled over UC Santa Barbara, making chills run down the student body’s back despite the 80-degree weather. Everywhere, faces are falling as the dreaded notification pops up on ...
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With Halloween just around the corner, students at UC Santa Barbara were met with unfortunate news after a noise ordinance from 10/26 to 11/4 was announced for this holiday season. Music will not be a...
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In a shocking turn of events, a proposition has passed through the UC Santa Barbara Associated Students, officially seceding UC Santa Barbara from the state of California. This move, which experts hav...
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In June 2025, on President Trump’s 79th birthday, small yet symbolic protests emerged during the United States Army parade, targeting what organizers called “authoritarian policies.” After this ...
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As UC Santa Barbara languishes in the steamy, hot sun, the only thing spooky about this season is the midterms that are starting next week. But, despite the 80-degree weather, Halloween is rapidly app...
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Every fall, UC Santa Barbara’s most average male students try their best to be selected and admitted into a brotherhood with questionable roots, but lit ass parties. This year, the Daily Nexus has r...
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In a bold move that campus officials are calling “a transformative act of compassion,” all UC Santa Barbara sororities have officially changed their philanthropies this quarter to focus on a singl...
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In response to the ongoing federal government shutdown, UC Santa Barbara has announced that all resident assistants (RAs) will be terminated, effective immediately. The decision to fire RAs, cited in ...
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The UC Santa Barbara library announced last Friday that it has new, limited hours of operation: only on Thursdays from 1-1:19 p.m. The announcement followed a statement a few weeks ago when the librar...
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
