Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
With college tuition and Isla Vista rent rising every quarter, the need for money is at an all-time high. Luckily, I’m here to help. Here are five foolproof ways to make a quick buck at UC Santa Bar...
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For the past several weeks, California Governor Gavin Newsom has made headlines by giving the political right a taste of their own medicine with his all-caps X posts, circulation of AI-generated image...
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In response to the copious amounts of incoming freshman questions, the Daily Nexus has made answering them an all-hands-on-deck event. Below are a few of the questions Serrano Ham has been forced to a...
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With fall quarter just around the corner, UC Santa Barbara is rewarding returning students with a big surprise: hidden fees! Students logging into their BARC accounts this summer were greeted with a n...
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With the beginning of the 2025-26 school year approaching, freshmen at UC Santa Barbara may have physically survived the gauntlet of room selection, but some have found that their relationships with t...
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In the wake of the United States Environmental Protection Agency announcing its decision to withdraw its classification of greenhouse gases as harmful to public health and welfare, the California Publ...
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In a daring leap towards the future, UC Santa Barbara has recently announced plans to replace a third of its student body with artificial intelligence by the summer of 2026.
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Isla Vista: the unincorporated community where the streets are typically filled with bikers on their phones, drivers on their phones and inebriated pedestrians—usually on their phones.
From Sep...
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It happens like clockwork: as soon as decisions are released and commitments are made, they come in droves. The word is bitter on the tongue and makes the mouth twist with disgust. Freshmen.
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In the wake of the booming American economy, thousands of UC Santa Barbara students are taking to social media, overwhelmed by the countless number of high-paying internships and job opportunities the...
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World peace was declared on Wednesday after UC Santa Barbara’s Associated Students passed a resolution to condemn war. Fearing they would become the next victim in a long list of global organization...
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Ever wondered how to establish dominance over your roommate? Well look no further, these are the best ways to become the alpha.
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Fellas, get rid of your feminist literature books and false love for matcha, as the fastest way to get ladies to drop their panties in today's day and age is a half-tuned guitar and a semi-courageous,...
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By this time of the year, all you degenerates have already skipped at least one or two lectures. And if you say you haven’t, then you’re a liar and a degenerate. Skipping a lecture is an art form,...
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Daily Nexus sources have found that the best way to manipulate a woman is to display an interest in her music taste. Upon meeting her, a man should inquire about said music taste, gaining bonus points...
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“Greased Lightnin’” from “Grease”
Sunset waltz from “La La Land”
“Thriller” by Michael Jackson
Frat flick
“Macarena” by Los Del Río
“Gangnam Style” by PSY
“Swan Lake” by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Renegade
“Cell Block Tango” from “Chicago”
“The Last Text” from “Dance Moms”
Flossing
All of “Hamilton”
