Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

November 5, 2026

S.H.A.P.E.-d up: Asshole man realizes he might be the problem

By Serrano Ham

Completion of UC Santa Barbara’s Sexual Violence and Harassment, Anti-Discrimination, Prevention and Education training, was due this past Friday, on Oct 30. This annual training is an often procrastinated and derided ...

November 5, 2026

Boo! It’s a man with romantic intentions

By Kitty Funk

The UC Santa Barbara spooky season has come to a close (literally, like an eight-day noise ordinance close), and everyone has just returned from a questionable visit to their ex-boyfriend’s fraternity at San Diego Stat...

November 5, 2026

Student explodes from holding in cough

By Ina Pickle

The usually carefree and buoyant mood at UC Santa Barbara has recently been dampened; a first-year physics major with a bright future has been taken too soon. William Gardner, who was known affectionately as “Will” a...

October 29, 2026

These five easy steps will get any man into exclusive fraternity parties

By Lucille My Balls

As Halloween rolls around at UC Santa Barbara, many nonfraternity-affiliated men suffer from a FOMO-related disorder: fear of not getting fucked up and/or getting bitches (FONGFUA/OGB). The symptoms of this disorder have...

October 29, 2026

Proposed Storke Tower haunting raises ethical quandary

By Ghee Buttersnaps

Earlier this week, UC Santa Barbara’s Administrative Services Division announced that they were looking to hire a ghost, ghoul, goblin or gargoyle to haunt Storke Tower this Halloween season.

October 29, 2026

Student files report of “haunting”

By Serrano Ham

October 22, 2026

Sick Halloween enthusiast overdoses on cough drops while trick-or-treating

By Charlie A. Newsance

Autumn is the perfect time for feeling wistful, baking treats and one of the most highly anticipated activities: trick-or-treating. However, something that coincides with these spooky festivities that few wish to partici...

October 22, 2026

DLG set to receive mystery meat from frat hazing ritual

By Jessie Joint

While UC Santa Barbara students dining in the hallowed halls of De La Guerra Dining Commons may be familiar with the entertaining nature of the fraternity hazing process — which often includes table-top speeches from p...

October 22, 2026

Us versus them: How the ILP Wall has divided UCSB

By Serrano Ham

UC Santa Barbara students don’t remember where they were when the wall went up, but they certainly remember the first time they saw it. The Interactive Learning Pavilion Wall, a barricade stretching from the Music Buil...

October 15, 2026

Struck by love: Freshman bike collisions lead to romance

By Mikaela St. James

It’s the beginning of fall quarter here at UC Santa Barbara, and the freshmen are looking for their first college romances. Many have installed Tinder and other dating apps for the first time, while others have been on...

October 15, 2026

Aliens (maybe) invade Isla Vista!

By Ina Pickle

On Saturday, Oct. 10, UC Santa Barbara’s student population was rendered completely shocked by what is believed to have been an extraterrestrial event, featuring a fiery streak blazing through the starlit sky.

October 15, 2026

Asking students from different majors what their worst nightmare is

By Benjamin Epstein

This quarter has been rather dull so far, so in honor of Halloween we’ve decided to focus on nightmares. The Daily Nexus interviewed different students across a variety of majors on their worst nightmares, and collecte...

October 15, 2026

British student freaks out over being mistaken for Australian again

By Charlie A. Newsance

‘G’Day’ was almost ‘G’Night’ for an anonymous student from the United Kingdom studying abroad at UC Santa Barbara who made a figurative and literal splash in response to a miscommunication about their home be...

October 8, 2026

Fashion-forward I.V. landlord doesn’t want to fix plumbing

By High Value Female

As Paris Fashion Week comes to a close, multiple brands have left quite an impression on their viewers. Matières Fécales — which literally translates to fecal matter — is a fashion house that has risen to prominenc...

October 8, 2026

UCSB announces three new sororities for girls who hate sororities

By Kitty Funk

If traditional sorority life isn't for you, rest assured: UC Santa Barbara just announced three new chapters coming winter quarter that might finally fit your niche.

October 8, 2026

Collapsing frat house really thinks it will survive El Niño

By Jesse Joint

As fall quarter at UC Santa Barbara commences, many students are now cast in the shadow of the ominous El Niño, a climate event beginning to shake not only the foundation of the coast, but Isla Vista's most equestrian-f...