Madeline Bryce / Daily Nexus

I know you guys just read the headline and are jealous. It’s okay, you can just live vicariously through me.

Let me start at the beginning. Last week, I was swiping on Hinge in lecture when I matched with this 25-year-old Santa Barbara City College guy named Jaxon. I thought he would just be another moid on my roster, so I set up an FB (Freebirds) date later on that week. 

Frankly, at first I thought he was a bit of a bum. There were strange yellow stains on his shirt, he had dusty feet in his flip flops and his knees were ashy. Despite this, I did not walk out on our date, instead I waited in the FB line for 30 minutes to get my $27 burrito. 

That’s when I saw it: that beautiful card adorned with the California coast. As he reached into his wallet, I saw it peeking out, begging to be used. It was hard to contain myself; my hands were shaking as I paid for my own food. This guy had money.

“Fuck I’m so hungryyy … like I have nothing at home I spend so much on rent … I have like no food in my house …” I bemoaned, hoping he would pick up on what I was putting down. 

“Oh like if you want I could get you something with my EBT type shit,” my dreamy prince said back. 

At once we made off to Isla Vista Market, my hand in his chalky grip. As we danced the aisles, I settled upon the Takis Fiesta Size bag, but he redirected me to a healthier option (always looking out for me): a bag of honey oat granola. We checked out, and I knew in my heart that he was the one.

“So like, what do I get for the granola type shit haha?” he asked. 

Everything, Jaxon. Everything.

High Value Female hopes you find a love like hers one day.