Because “I’m late to class” doesn’t quite cut it anymore.
1. New Prop to Vote On/Political Events/Register to Vote
“I’m not a US citizen”, “Sorry I’m a communist/fascist”
2. Multi-cultural Fraternities
Just be so multi-cultural that you don’t even speak English.
3. Sports Events
Just take the flyer. Just do it. That’s all they want. Then walk/run away as fast as possible.
4. Religious Organizations
If it is your religion, embrace another religion, quickly. If not, that resting bitch face can definitely come in handy here.
5. Controversial Topics (abortion)
Sprint: don’t engage with the political science majors that will verbally berate you. No matter what your beliefs, you will not win. Get out of there. Put your head down and run.
6. Tuition Increases
Pretend not to be the broke college student we all so sadly are. “I can afford that”
7. Joining sports teams
Are they attractive? If so, you don’t need an excuse, you should be engaging in conversation. If not, “actually, I practice this belief that does not condone exercise”
9. Blanket Excuses/Honorable Mentions (because we all know there are more groups in the Arbor than we have excuses for):
On the phone — “Hi mom, I’m only calling you because I’m avoiding talking to other people.” She’ll really like that one.
“My roommate’s throwing up.” It’s 2 p.m. on a Tuesday, but hey, it’s still plausible.
“I’m a convicted felon” — what are they gonna do about that? Nothing. They don’t want to talk to you anymore. Works every time.