Nexustentialism

February 26, 2026

Inspired! Frat boy shoves his dirty fingers in my mouth

By Don Juan Tenorio

Last weekend in Isla Vista was like a movie. And by movie I mean “‘Wuthering Heights’” (2026).

February 26, 2026

ASPB announces Deltopia alternative event: Bouncy house

By Joseph R. Biden

The Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors voted to impose a 72-hour noise ordinance the weekend of Deltopia, the — formerly — largest annual college party in the country. After backlash from students, UC Santa Ba...

February 19, 2026

New Year Part II: Chinese New Year offers resolution do-over

By Serrano Ham

Chinese New Year fell on Tuesday, Feb. 17 and offered people around the world the chance to start the year anew. In the face of failed resolutions only two months into 2026, many people have jumped at the chance to creat...

February 19, 2026

Thank God! Fatties silenced

By Joseph R. Biden

After years of promoting realistic body standards, combating toxic diet culture and planting like three size-six women in Hollywood, the world order has finally been returned: early 2000s-style skinny culture is back.

February 12, 2026

How to break up with your low-commitment, exclusive, no-labels situationship with benefits

By Don Juan Tenorio

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and with it often comes the realization that maybe you could be treating yourself better. Taken too many walks of shame recently? Maybe it’s time to ditch that stranger-turned-love...

February 12, 2026

C.A.P.S. opens sports betting division, overwhelmed after Super Bowl

By Associated Student

UC Santa Barbara Counseling and Psychological Services (C.A.P.S.) opened the door to their newest service: support for failed sports gamblers on Feb. 9. C.A.P.S. counselors expect these services to be in heavy demand fol...

February 12, 2026

Frat Looksmaxxer mistakes peptides for HRT

By Jessie Joint

Each new year brings with it new health and fitness trends that begin to dominate every frat house, football field and Friday function. Whether it’s downing Joe Rogan brand protein powder or shoving chicken into every ...

February 5, 2026

New I.V. film festival announced: “SPLIFF”

By Calico Critter

Beginning on Feb. 4, the Santa Barbara International Film Festival (SBIFF) will overtake State Street for 11 days. Since 1986, the festival features independent and international films, hosting award-winning celebrity tr...

February 5, 2026

UCSB Students Start Temperance Movement, Only Drink on Weekends

By Don Juan Tenorio

Waves are being made today in Isla Vista, California as some of UC Santa Barbara’s most debaucherous delinquents have publicly announced their decision to restrict their alcohol consumption to the weekends. 

February 5, 2026

New UCSB Foodie Club titled “GLP-None”

By Barbara Broccoli

The rise in usage of Ozempic and other GLP-1 medications to curb appetite and lose weight has led to an unprecedented decrease in meals consumed across not only the elites, but in the greater food-eating population at la...

February 5, 2026

Old Boys Club Prevails: Court Judge revealed to be University of Pennsylvania Alumni

By Leon Giusti

After nearly a year of deliberations and attempts at indicting Luigi Mangione, a recent hearing in the New York State Court saw Judge Tucker Johnson dismiss two charges, one including a charge of capital punishment, the ...

January 29, 2026

I.C.E. sees Instagram story, stops violence

By Joseph R. Biden

After a year of escalated Immigrations and Customs Enforcement activity under the second Trump administration, including what critics call violent and undemocratic enforcement tactics Immigrations and Customs Enforcement...

January 29, 2026

Midterms renamed to avoid triggering students

By Tiny Tinkle

In response to growing numbers of students panicking at the mention of m*dterm ex*ms, members of the “Don’t Say It” club on UC Santa Barbara’s campus are trying to make a change.

January 22, 2026

Cal Poly SLO, SDSU, high school students mourn Deltopia

By Joseph R. Biden

Last week, the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors voted to implement a 72-hour noise ordinance in Isla Vista on the weekend of April 4. This put an end to Del Playa Drive’s annual block party, Deltopia, which ta...

January 22, 2026

Top 10 ways to ace that interview

By Serrano Ham

Internship recruiting and the summer job search are in full swing, and you might be wondering how to make the job yours. Never fear, the ultimate guide to interviewing is here at the tip of your fingers, complete with 10...

January 15, 2026

Trump purchases Solvang

By Serrano Ham

The nation has been rocked by the news of President Donald Trump’s recent territorial acquisition, which the administration claims is part of his latest bid to increase the national security of the United States.