The Daily Stench
So, if you’re not sure about what to do when you find yourself out with your most diverse group of friends, look no further! We’ve got you covered!
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As a veteran of three tours of photo-ops at UCSB’s Middle Eastern Resource Center, I am uniquely aware of the incredible human cost and personal toll of the protracted conflict. I know it must end n...
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It’s like, how can these ducks find love and I can’t? What’s wrong with me? Am I really less worthy than a duck?
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When asked if she had anything of value in the bag she simply replied, “Yes, all my notes are trashed but it’s fine. At least I’m not a loser!”
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Dazed and confused, Mate spoke only in tongues for 22 minutes until he was doused with a gallon of whole milk someone bought from 7-Eleven. Brains everywhere were scrambled. Only then did the question...
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Dangly earrings and ruffled socks were adorned on every person from wall to wall. This was the day Ininity had dreaded. The UC Santa Barbara Masc Mandate had finally been lifted.
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We all make mistakes from time to time. Forgetting to give Storke Tower a hug and making sure she knew what time you would be home was yours this weekend.
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“They’re trying to like gaslight me into saving the environment, which isn’t very cash money of them you know?” said Saraa Nara, a fourth year who is “lowkey tired” of CALPIRG’s bullshit...
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If he had made it about alopecia, then people wouldn’t want to look it up as much. The key is misdirection. This way, people don’t even realize how they are being played.
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According to Genius, the phrase refers to “keeping it player,” or being true to self. To further explain this concept, look no further than our very own Chancellor Yang.
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“I felt it was necessary, desired and the downright moral thing to do,” he said while clutching his chest. “These kids have worked so hard over the pandemic, completing their studies online with...
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My mom booked a cruise around the South Pacific (which, I mean, tacky, right?) and on the website it said they don’t have the best Wi-Fi (Of course! If you have a chocolate fountain that runs 24/7, ...
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“Honestly, I feel invincible walking through the quad,” Higgins said. “Even though I’ve given up my rights, I feel freer than ever.”
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My name? Nonessential. Your life? Unimportant, at least until now. All that matters now is what side of history you want to be on. As Matt Damon said, “Fortune favors the brave.” And there is noth...
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You are a lingering runner's high, watching the sun rise over the cliffs
You are the cozy feeling the moment you wake up, nestled under the quilt you got from your grandma
You are the burst of inspiration (and motivation) at 3:42 a.m. in the library
You are the lopsided Sharpie heart on your Cajé latte
When you take your shoes off at SBA security and know you're the hot, mysterious airport traveler
You are the rush after winning a debate concerning Domino's and Woodstock's
You are the random wave and smile from a semi-familiar face on the way to Biochemistry
You are the first bite of a warm Subway sandwich after a long day
You are the relief of getting your feet wet at the beach in the middle of July
You are the first non-dining hall meal after a final
You are the final stitch in your quarter-long knitting project
You are the walk across campus to your favorite song on a cold day: "Sweater Weather"
