The Daily Stench
“No, I just love hinges. God they are such beautiful mechanisms,” Head stated, as he started to speak faster and faster, his face flushed with enthusiasm.
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Nuffathis’ grimy, formerly-white Air Force 1s began to levitate off the ground. Seemingly set off by another waist-grab, Nuffathis was spurred by the supernatural – selected by the gods, perhaps ...
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Not one shred of printable material seems to remain, despite continued, exploratory drilling around the sites we last located the funny.
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We at the Daily Nexus, personally, are heartbroken to report on the demise of what we thought was a stable tenet of the little joy there is in our decrepit college town. Is pain the only guarantee in ...
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Oh, how I long to lovingly nestle my face against your ample bosom, reverting to a childlike state of coziness and dependency.
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Hopefully when these people see this list, they might rethink their lives and stop being such fake fucking bitches. One can only hope!
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“Heart? Stolen. Panties? Soaked. Hotel? Trivago.”
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Crest, Colgate, Sensodyne — I’ll take anything, even if only 8/10 doctors recommend it!
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After sending a correspondent into the sky via the slingshot we rented from a carnival company, we have received input from the four winds and their thoughts on their massive blowings and whooshes bom...
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Esteemed Nexustentialism reporter Roberto Gutierrez discussed this in his article “BREAKING: God Canceled,” but he failed to anticipate the possible ramifications of this cancellation — that bei...
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I figured he was just nervous. But when I got to the booth, he still didn’t move and I knew something was wrong.
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You have suckled my breast like an infant — the weakling you are — and I get nothing in return?
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Perhaps it is time for the man upstairs to face the social consequences of his actions.
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So, if you’re not sure about what to do when you find yourself out with your most diverse group of friends, look no further! We’ve got you covered!
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As a veteran of three tours of photo-ops at UCSB’s Middle Eastern Resource Center, I am uniquely aware of the incredible human cost and personal toll of the protracted conflict. I know it must end n...
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“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
“songs that make me see god”
“My Playlist #236”
“classy wine moment and intellectual conversation”
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
“tweet tweet bird emoji map emoji”
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
