Faith Talamantez / Daily Nexus

Are you trying to ruin my life, Meta? I could only describe my reaction to the new update as absolute disgust after spending the last several years of my life curating the perfect squares to communicate how effortlessly awesome my life is. This is not a change I will accept as permanent, because everyone knows that size matters. You are not Pinterest, bitch, not even close. These longer posts are an assault on my eyes, revealing the full forehead of men that were previously using the squares as a digital hat. 

There is no reason at all to change, either. Are you insecure now that TikTok’s situation is rapidly evolving and getting all the attention? Relax, buddy, we aren’t going anywhere. Horrible as you are, I can’t be bothered to use Facebook beyond its cutesy little marketplace, which is a feature I wouldn’t mind you stealing. Basically, I’m just asking you to respect the sanctity of one of the only consistent things in my life — my feed. Stop fucking it up. 

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