5 SEXY GAUCHOS WANT TO MEET NEAR YOU

May 18, 2023 by

Hey gorg us. How would you like to see BIG BOOBS and BIG’s BUTT tonight.
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Return of the Jedi: I’m high for the 2nd time at Wingstop

May 4, 2023 by

I have the plant with me now, and using my lightsaber, I’m able to light it and start smoking in the purple glow of my saber. Fuck yes.
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Deltopia in review: Local girl with severe peanut allergy stores EpiPen in pussy

April 14, 2023 by

When asked if she was carrying a purse throughout the day, Chu smirked and claimed to not be “one of those weak bitches.”
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Help! Chancellor Yang lives inside my cursed locket

February 10, 2023 by

“Go forth! Let’s smoke that dope za — or whatever the kids say.” 
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I’ll say it: I’m a hoe and I’m cold

January 20, 2023 by

If you see me popping my pussy in a parka, either tell me that you like my outfit or stay in your fucking lane.
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Thanks for bringing your moms this weekend

November 30, 2022 by

This year, I especially want to thank everyone who invited their mom for Parents’ Weekend, and I want to assure you that we had a lovely time together last night.
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“He’s never gonna find someone like me,” says some girl in angel costume

November 7, 2022 by

“Like, it’s so stupid. He’s literally losing his chance, and I have, like, everything he could ever want!” says Starchy Malessence, “I don’t know what to do!”
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Top 5 Fucking Skank Bitches in School

May 13, 2022 by

Hopefully when these people see this list, they might rethink their lives and stop being such fake fucking bitches. One can only hope!
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How To Lounge Jubilantly on the Arbor Lawn With Your Multicultural Friends in Front of a Tour Group

April 29, 2022 by

So, if you’re not sure about what to do when you find yourself out with your most diverse group of friends, look no further! We’ve got you covered!
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Belltopia: Storke Tower To Chime Alone This Weekend

April 14, 2022 by

We all make mistakes from time to time. Forgetting to give Storke Tower a hug and making sure she knew what time you would be home was yours this weekend. 
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My Badge Is Sage Green: I Am Gay

February 15, 2022 by

My badge is sage green. There, I said it. I know you’re wondering why my badge is a beautiful shade of green while yours is still the color of toxic goo in cartoons. Well, the answer is quite simple...
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Our Little Cupid: Chancellor Yang to Wear Diaper, Tell Students to Kiss

February 10, 2022 by

Sporting a diaper and Cupid’s iconic bow and arrow, Yang intends to walk amongst us, looking for two kids he can totally ship together.
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Mold is Just a Friend, Landlord Promises

February 2, 2022 by

Feeling moldy lately? You and the homes of students in Isla Vista have that in common! Many students have found themselves calling up their landlords, worried about the ever growing presence of mold i...
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