Fart Tent

April 10, 2025

Flash mob proposal on Del Playa shocks Deltopia bride

By Fart Tent

For many Gauchos, Deltopia, UC Santa Barbara’s biggest dayge, is the height of the coupling season. Out in the sunlight, all is laid bare for God and Yang to see, leading to many tender moments throughout the length of...

February 27, 2025

Deltopia in review

By Fart Tent

Another great Deltopia weekend has come and gone in the sunny streets of Isla Vista. Students poured out this past weekend for the event, bikini-clad for their treks across Del Playa. As early as 4:20 a.m., students coul...

February 20, 2025

Hercules’s 12th task: senior finally takes Greek Myth

By Fart Tent

Rounding out the final session of pass times, many fourth-years found themselves, for once, at ease. Finally, the first group to get their greedy little hands on classes, mostly everyone was satisfied with what they got....

January 23, 2025

Size does matter: Instagram feed update fucking sucks

By Fart Tent

Are you trying to ruin my life, Meta?

January 16, 2025

Study finds that riding electric skateboards DOES make you cool

By Fart Tent

Despite previous understanding that the only cool way to ride a skateboard is, you know, the normal way by using your leg to push, a new study finds that there might be a much cooler way. Students have gained a huge incr...

January 14, 2025

UCSB parent Facebook group found extremely informative

By Fart Tent

While UC Santa Barbara students waste their time doing coke off of collapsing beachfront porches, their parents are worried sick. Reliable news sources, only made available on Facebook, have found that there are at least...

December 29, 2024

Yay! Parents gifts based on my interests at twelve

By Fart Tent

For yet another year, college students are haunted by the ghost of middle school past. When opening gifts on Christmas morning, one can only dream of receiving the trendy Tiffany lamp or Pedro Pascal wrapped under the tr...

November 21, 2024

Finally! High winds blow short kings away

By Fart Tent

Isla Vista’s colder months have arrived and the intense weather has caused great harm to men under 5 feet 6 inches tall. Winds reaching above 20 mph have caught these young men by their basketball shorts, sweeping them...

November 14, 2024

Your body, my choice: Gluing fake pregnancy bellies to deserving men

By Fart Tent

Dick Thucker was horrified when he woke up the day after the presidential election. Rubbing his bleary eyes, he was shocked to see a huge pregnant belly blocking his feet from view instead of his usual morning wood. This...

October 17, 2024

Cop dresses as curb, lures students to sit on him

By Fart Tent

“Hey! Yeah, you! You look pretty tired, do you maybe want to take a seat?”

October 10, 2024

UCSB replaces Gaucho with mascot that offends different minority

By Fart Tent

In honor of Hispanic Heritage month, UC Santa Barbara has announced that they will pick a new mascot to replace the Gaucho — one that offends a different minority.

September 15, 2024

Nexustentialism’s guide to reintroducing yourself to Isla Vista

By Fart Tent

Welcome back, Gauchos! As hordes of students return to their beloved party by the sea, Isla Vista is beginning to fill with the familiar ring of people screaming outside at 2 in the morning. Upon returning, you may find ...

July 28, 2024

Trump announces departure from supervillainhood after losing arch nemesis

By Fart Tent

“It’s not the same without him,” said Donald “Joker” Trump, following the loss of his rival, Joe Batman. 

May 9, 2024

Mauna Kall to action: Chancellor Yang trapped in telescope

By Fart Tent

The University of California Board of Rejects has long been subject to protests surrounding their project to build a telescope on Mauna Kea, a land that is sacred both culturally and environmentally to Native Hawaiians. ...

April 25, 2024

What the frack? RuPaul only talked about drag

By Fart Tent

This past Thursday, UC Santa Barbara had a very exciting guest speaker, a real gem within the drilling community. After leasing mineral rights to oil companies on his ranch,  RuPaul became a notable celebrity figure wit...

April 14, 2024

Targeted? Other people bought the same swimsuit as me

By Fart Tent

Deltopia has come and gone, and now that the hangovers have fully subsided, many Gauchos have found themselves mourning their individuality. Frequent unintentional twinning has taken a toll on students.