“We as a community are just so proud of the achievement of these students. They should certainly feel very satisfied with themselves and the effort they have put in. We hope they are experiencing th...
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Not one shred of printable material seems to remain, despite continued, exploratory drilling around the sites we last located the funny.
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As a veteran of three tours of photo-ops at UCSB’s Middle Eastern Resource Center, I am uniquely aware of the incredible human cost and personal toll of the protracted conflict. I know it must end n...
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Siavash Ghadiri / Daily Nexus Zoom, Calif. — Just before the pandemic began in 2020, graduate students at UCSB and around the UC system were protesting the University for a Cost Of Living Adjustme...
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Disclaimer: This is a real news story, and any similarity or relationship to fictional persons, monsters, fairies and deities living or dead is a mere coincidence. ISLA VISTA, CALIFORNIA — Late ...
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IN THE BEGINNING, THERE SHALL BE NOTHING. THENCE, I SHALL SPEAK INTO EXISTENCE A DINING HALL LIKE NO OTHER THAT HAS BEEN SEEN.
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Snag exists to serve the Isla Vista community,” Brohanski shouted (we’re not really sure why he was shouting). “And, frankly, the Isla Vista community is kind of a bunch of alcoholics with a stu...
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Patients at Cottage reportedly enjoy the new bunk bed experience. In addition to inter-patient intercourse skyrocketing 76%, patient morale seems to have been boosted by the new project as well.
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Warnings, panic and general hubbub about the new Delta strain of COVID-19 have been dominating the news cycle over the past few weeks. Envious of all the attention showered on Delta, local Zeta Beta T...
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Last week, the Gaucho community received exciting news that Oprah Winfrey — entertainment tycoon and one of the nation’s wealthiest self-made women — would be speaking at UC Santa Barbara’s sp...
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Isla Vistan pregamers are thrilled to hear that downtown Santa Barbara — famous for its bustling nightlife — is literally on fire tonight.
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“All of you are why we can’t have nice things. We tried to do a good thing and let anyone cancel people that deserved it, but y’all had to go and ruin it”
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X. Varun Iyer was recently informed that he gets paid per article, not per letter.
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Students demonstrated against the website by continuing to use it normally, which repeatedly caused the site to slow and crash at inconvenient times. One student described the protests as a “careful...
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“No Chick-fil-A sauce?”
The Jojo Siwa dance
“It’s like I’m just partying every single weekend…”
“No sleep! Bus, club, another club”
"Baddie Baddie shot O’Clock"
“Berries and Cream…”
“Umm I never went to oovoo Javer”
“You spilled lipstick in my Valentino white bag”
“STOP, I could’ve dropped my croissant”
The Henry Danger memes
“Play Dress To Impress with my baddies”
“You are now one of my elite employees”
