Emma Demorest / Daily Nexus


ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

  • See how long you can make your next fart last. You may be surprised by the result.


GEMINI (May 21- June 20)

  • Be on the watch for two farts for the price of one.


CANCER (June 21- July 22)

  • You may be struck with a need to fart in an unlikely circumstance. Trust your ability to adapt.


LEO (July 23- August 22)

  • When it comes to Leo farts, it’s best to be loud and proud.


VIRGO (August 23- September 22)

  • If at first your fart doesn’t succeed, try, try, try again.


LIBRA (September 23- October 22)

  • Your next fart will be not too long, not too loud, not too short, not too quiet. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.


SCORPIO (October 23- November 21)

  • You smell.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22- December 21)

  • Don’t get too ambitious with your next fart, or your hubris will be your downfall.


CAPRICORN (December 22- January 19)

  • When they say “silent but deadly,” they’re talking about you.


AQUARIUS (January 20- February 18)

  • If you think fart jokes aren’t funny, you’re entitled to your own opinion.


PISCES (February 19- March 20)

  • Remember your roots. Be careful when you toots.