Max Myszkowski / Daily Nexus

UC Santa Barbara officials announced Tuesday that an all-new student-resource department would be making its way to campus in the fall of 2020: the Department of Student Vibes. In the brand-new Student Vibe Center, students will be able to get their vibes checked, free of charge. 

The department’s introduction comes as a result of unprecedented levels of reported off-vibe behavior occurring on university grounds. In an effort to uphold the university’s reputation as a vibe powerhouse, UCSB administrators took action. After months of deliberation and planning, higher-ups disclosed their intent to offer not only vibe-checking services, but vibe-repair and vibe-development services for all UCSB students as well. 

The Student Vibe Center will also offer a safe space for all vibesexual students and resources for vibe education and awareness. Staff will include official representatives from the National Vibe Association as well as Student Vibe Peers. The new center — complete with a soft, ever-present echoing of Tame Impala and Mac DeMarco — called upon the world’s best vibe architects for specialized design instructions to maximize vibe potential, or VP. 

“We’re delighted to announce the installation of rainbow LED lights in the Vibe Center,” Chancellor Yang declared during an interview. “Our ultimate goal is to ensure every student feels comfortable in their own individual vibesphere.” UCSB’s beloved chancellor will also be attending the ribbon-cutting ceremony of the new department upon its completion, donning a vintage cardigan, khakis and hair parted straight down the middle. 

Since the official announcement of the department’s introduction, UCSB has steadily climbed in the U.S. News & World Report rankings for Best Vibes. Vibe analysts predict UCSB’s vibrational ranking to rise to the top 5 by 2025. 

“I’m just vibing,” Yang laughed. “And all of you should be too.”


Sierra Vakili exhibits off-vibe behavior.