Bianca Bitchandahalf

November 4, 2019

BREAKING: Philosophy Major Has Thought

By Bianca Bitchandahalf

This is it, the moment we’ve all been waiting for has arrived: A philosophy major thought of something. Considering most people only need to take Philosophy 1 to get enough introspection and bleak soul-searching for a ...

October 10, 2019

BREAKING: Rival Mascots Olé Gaucho and Musty the Mustang Caught in Affair

By Bianca Bitchandahalf

It’s the time of year when our beloved Blue-Green rivalry is in full swing. Soccer players are soccer playing, Gauchos are Loco-ing and everyone is perfecting their “Fuck Cal Poly” cheers.  But this time, there’...

May 28, 2019

I.V. Cop Consistently Outsmarted by Drunk Girl

By Bianca Bitchandahalf

Officer Gregory Dillweed has officially retired from I.V. Foot Patrol after 14 years of proud service because he could not overcome Isla Vista’s most dangerous natural predator: sassy drunk girls.

April 11, 2019

A Cry for Help: This Man Wears Basketball Jerseys as Shirts

By Bianca Bitchandahalf

‘Twas a brave, young fellow indeed who stepped out of his front door onto the streets of Isla Vista last weekend, wiping away tears and wearing a Golden State jersey in place of the usual (and preferred by the public),...