Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
“Performing seances when it isn’t Halloween isn’t great business,” Riley said, “So I figured I would help guide others with their ancestors’ advice on how to get in a relationship just in ...
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Just as Obama had ended regular racism before him, President Trump has successfully ended reverse racism. Wow!
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Missing UCSB student Jill Crosswell was found alive yesterday morning at 5:00 a.m.
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Local police have been perplexed by 35 recent instances of “encouraging” graffiti in Isla Vista and at UCSB.
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Sally considers the different points of views on the Muslin ban, but ultimately doesn’t understand the controversy.
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After completing a campus visit and tour yesterday, Harvard Law graduate and political activist Elle Woods made her decision to enroll at UC Santa Barbara official by submitting her statement of inten...
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Recent events surrounding the cliffslide and mandatory demolition at 6653 Del Playa have seen a shift in the design philosophy of oceanside property owners.
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“It actually wasn’t that bad for me,” Starbucks barista Denise Gates said. “Many people tried to make up for it in tips so I counted myself lucky to be working that shift.”
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“She had it coming! I warned her, but that spoon was still in the sink when I got home.”
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Juniper’s origin is unknown, but what is known is that he controls the greater Isla Vista area through his networks of trash.
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“This is a guy who knows trees and the problems that they face,” said President Trump.
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It would appear that he first got caught in the flood around Storke Tower and has since been seen floating down Del Playa, holding on to a rogue surfboard.
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“I was told that ‘literally Hitler’ would be sworn in. I know Hitler; he’s a good friend of mine. This guy is no Hitler; he doesn’t even have the mustache,”
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In what will certainly go down as a cornerstone development of the 21st century, scientists at the University of Science in Siberia met Monday morning to discuss the unthinkable.
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Internships.
The elusive, ever ethereal precursors to one’s midsummer night’s dream job on Mount Olympus with froyo on tap.
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
