Clayton Alexander

June 8, 2018

Not Too Late for Something Weird to Still Happen

By Clayton Alexander

Here we are in Week 10, and it just occurred to me that no big meteorological or geographical catastrophe has taken place.

May 25, 2018

Coffee Spill in Harold Frank Hall Befouls Five Backpacks

By Clayton Alexander

In a press briefing early this morning, CSO Chief, Copson Robberts, confirmed the rumors that a total of five backpacks were destroyed in an unfortunate coffee accident in Harold Frank Hall’s main lecturing hall.

April 20, 2018

Looking to Get Stressed Out? Here Are Some Natural Disasters UCSB Could Maybe Face

By Clayton Alexander

Murphy’s Law states, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”

February 12, 2018

Close Quarters With Clayton: What Does It Really Mean To Be a Gaucho?

By Adam Cox, Clayton Alexander, Lily Garcia

In this first edition of Close Quarters With Clayton, Stench correspondent Clayton Alexander explores how the student body really feels about our mascot, chancellor and more.

January 22, 2018

Students in ESS Pre-major Prepare to Literally Jump Through Hoops

By Clayton Alexander

Students have been working diligently to gear up for this week’s final challenge.

August 9, 2017

Summer Visitors Create Hell for Introverted Students on Campus

By Clayton Alexander

Incoming visitors from Family Vacation Center and various touring high schools have led to introverted UCSB students feeling as though their sanity is deteriorating, as they remember how glad they are to be out of high s...

May 30, 2017

New Study Shows There Aren’t Plenty of Fish in the Sea

By Clayton Alexander

In a recent study published by UCSB’s Aquatics Research Department, research has concluded that there are, in fact, not plenty of fish in the sea.

May 2, 2017

New Cheadle Hall Renovations Are Something to A-Door

By Clayton Alexander

Through a series of collaborative efforts spearheaded by a small committee composed of C.A.P.S. and other various campus faculty, Cheadle Hall was recently renovated as part of the campus’s new When One Door Closes, An...