Student Trains Homing Pigeons After Breaking iPhone

May 9, 2017 by

Columbidae, whose phone was broken in a bike accident, says he got the idea when he looked up from the pavement and saw a pigeon staring at him.
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Top 5 Spots for Cathartic Screaming on Campus

March 13, 2017 by

As finals week approaches, the desire to let out some of your stress in the form of a socially unacceptable shriek may threaten to overwhelm you.
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President Obama to Join the National Tour Cast of ‘Hamilton: An American Musical’

February 20, 2017 by

While the Obamas do plan on taking some more time off, the former POTUS has recently announced his plans to join the touring national cast of “Hamilton.”
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Missing Girl Found After Going into Hiding To Avoid Giving Ride

February 9, 2017 by

Missing UCSB student Jill Crosswell was found alive yesterday morning at 5:00 a.m.
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Local Girl Arrested in Relation to Spoon Homicide

January 30, 2017 by

“She had it coming! I warned her, but that spoon was still in the sink when I got home.”
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6 Steps to Surviving Parents Weekend

November 4, 2016 by

After six weeks of glorious freedom and no one but your roommates to judge you for your bad life decisions, the parental units will be in I.V. in full force this weekend.
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What Does Your Lecture Hall Seat Say About You?

October 7, 2016 by

You can tell a lot about a person from their official unassigned spot.
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Haikus to Student Health

May 24, 2016 by

A series of Haikus dedicated to the unique experience of going to Student Health.
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Quiz: Which UCSB Lecture Hall Are You?

May 19, 2016 by

Now you can sort everyone into a new set of arbitrary labels to your heart’s content.
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Lecture Survival Tips: How To Stay Awake in Class

April 22, 2016 by

Soon you’ll be fending off so many stress dreams that you won’t even want to fall asleep!
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Incoming Freshman Outbreak Threatens To Overrun UCSB

April 12, 2016 by

Hordes of high school seniors swarmed campus following the release of a virus known as "letters of admission."
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5 Movies That Need To Be Made

April 11, 2016 by

Every year, it seems like the same movies are released over and over again just under different names. Here are my suggestions that I think would mix things up a bit...
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Leaked From the Future: Leo’s Best Actor Acceptance Speech

February 28, 2016 by

"I mean, after all this time … after all this time … you bastards finally gave me an Oscar."
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10 Isla Vista Commandments

November 17, 2015 by

Trumpeted by the thundering waves, bellowing frat boys and wailing sirens of a Friday night in Isla Vista, the great Chancellor Yang descended upon one unworthy Nexus writer to set forth a set of rule...
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Eight DIY Halloween Costumes

October 22, 2015 by

With Halloween just a couple weeks away, the panic to find the perfect costume is setting in. Getting the stuff necessary to become the perfect Daenerys Targaryen or Donald Trump can get pretty expens...
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