I’ve always been a third row, third seat kind of girl. However, lately, I’ve found myself in the second row, fourth seat, or even fourth row, fourth seat. Frankly, it’s caused a bit of an identity crisis. You can tell a lot about a person from their official unassigned spot. What does your lecture hall seat say about you?
1. Front row, center
If you sit in the front row, middle seat, you’re probably the person that makes the whole class groan when you raise your hand. You put everyone else to shame by doing the required readings, recommended readings, listening to the extra credit podcasts and attending office hours religiously. You’re the most hated person in class and the one who sets the curve. Coincidence? I think not.
2. Second row, middle seat
This spot is for those of us with bad eyesight. With the front row, center person shielding you from the professor’s gaze, this is the perfect place to be able to see the board and look studious, while still texting under the tiny bit of fake wood that has the gall to call itself a desk.
3. Any row except the first, end seat
If you’re an end-sitter, you better damn well have gotten to class late. If not, you’re the person who enjoys seeing others suffer. While the last seat in the row is undoubtedly the best in terms of legroom, avoiding claustrophobia and likelihood of living in case of a fire, a filled end seat is also the bane of all non-end-sitters’ existence. If you sit there, you’ve got to like being smacked in the face by backpacks.
4. Third row, third seat
This is the optimal seat for your lecture hall experience. Not too close to the front, not too far in the back, people who sit here are in the safe zone. In the safe zone, you are free to doodle without judgment. You’re far enough away from the professor that you will only minorly offend them if you doze off, but close enough that you’re discouraged from doing so because you’ll be able to see them die a little inside when you do.
5. Back section, floor
If this is your regular lecture hall seat, you need to set your alarm 15 minutes earlier. You and everyone else’s skateboards are BFFs.