Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

Stuck in Pallet Town? Join Team Rocket!

August 8, 2016 by

I wanna be the very best / like no one ever was. / But I’m stuck here in Pallet Town, / a dreamer with no cause.
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Sophomore Slump Now Entering 7th Quarter

August 5, 2016 by

As fall 2016 approaches, incoming seniors are left looking at their life and the choices that have led them here.
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‘Bachelor in Paradise’ Preview

August 2, 2016 by and

Nexustentialism gives an exclusive preview of some of the key players in the upcoming season of "Bachelor in Paradise."
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5 Takeaways From the Democratic National Convention

August 1, 2016 by

The nation’s focus was on Philadelphia last week as the Democratic Party held their convention to nominate Hillary Clinton as their official 2016 presidential candidate. Here's 5 things you need to ...
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Bernie Supporters Shocked Most Popular Candidate Won Nomination

July 29, 2016 by

Several of those formerly feeling the Bern halfheartedly gave in, apathetically tweeting, "I guess I'm #WithHer now."
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5 Things You Need to Know About the Republican National Convention

July 25, 2016 by

Catching up on last week's episode of national politics with twists and turns almost as juicy as KUWTK.
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New Triple Occupancy Dorms Literally Just Tents on Chem Lawn

July 22, 2016 by

New dorms built to compensate for an influx of new admits promise an experience unlike any other for the incoming freshmen.
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Sorority Sally Takes the Throne: A ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 1 Review

July 18, 2016 by

Sally picks up an easy-to-follow, light, summer binge-watch: follow along and relive the series, since showing up fashionably late is always in.
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10 Types of People You Left in Your Hometown

July 11, 2016 by

Sometimes we get so caught up in exams, essays and labs that we don’t remember anything else. We forget that not everyone made it out of our wretched hometowns.
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What Will These Photos of Clouds Reveal About Your Personality?

July 8, 2016 by

Reveal new truths about your deepest self through the most accurate personality quiz known to mankind as of ten minutes ago.
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5 Ways to Take Advantage of the California Wildfires

July 6, 2016 by

It's officially wildfire season, but don't let the large scale burning of property and nature get you down! Here are 5 great ways to take advantage of this underrated summertime staple.
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Freshman Returns Home for Summer, Is Terrible

June 27, 2016 by

Thanks to three quarters of undergrad, Nelson claims to have learned much on topics ranging from plate tectonics and statistics to Jägermeister, marijuana and having sex all the time.
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PETA Mistakes Freebirds for Poultry Activism Group, Backpedals After Seeing Nachos

June 20, 2016 by

Earlier this year, the group publicly endorsed the restaurant for its “pro-bird activism,” despite the fact that no member had set foot inside the establishment.
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Clinton, Sanders Drop Out of Race, Chancellor Yang Set To Run

May 30, 2016 by

A regular superhero, Yang plans to fulfill his duties as chancellor for the remainder of the year while simultaneously running a full-fledged campaign.
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Haikus to Student Health

May 24, 2016 by

A series of Haikus dedicated to the unique experience of going to Student Health.
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