A large gathering of the oppressive left. Stephen Manga / Daily Nexus

More than a month after the inauguration of President Donald Trump, UCSB pro-Nazi meninists claim to have been targeted by on-campus anti-Trump and anti-racism protests.

“They chant things like ‘Immigrants are welcome here,’ and it makes me think like … ‘Bro, am I not welcome here?’” third-year William Carter Carrington said while holding up a “Nazis Just Wanna Have Fun-damental Rights” poster.

“The last few weeks have made me feel marginalized and systematically oppressed. I don’t think anyone knows what I’m going through right now.”

Carrington identifies himself as a Caucasian male with a “passion for other Caucasian males’ rights.” He says his act of protest was meant to challenge the “cancerous” views of campus liberals, who have in turn conducted their own protests for immigrants, women and people of color. Carrington’s concern follows last week’s UCSB pro-immigrant rally that hundreds of students attended to protest Trump’s immigration ban.

Carrington identifies himself as a Caucasian male with a “passion for other Caucasian males’ rights.”

His fears echo the “Founding Pillars” held by exclusive UCSB Fraternity, Beta Rho Omicron, of which he is a brother. The all-male members of this oft-controversial organization have been on guard ever since the 2017 Women’s March. According to sources, the secret fraternity has been stocking up on AXE body spray, which they hope will repel any woman who tries to march in protest upon their property.

“I’ve seen their illustrated feminist posters about the female body part — which I have absolutely seen before, don’t get me wrong — but I think women’s rights are fine now just the way they are,” a Beta Rho Omicron member who prefers to remain anonymous said. “And I swear to God, if they’re gonna have another protest at Storke Tower I’ll throw a bitch fit.”


Vivi Mabanag is a campus liberal who is working to build up her tolerance of AXE body spray.