Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
Do you often find yourself utterly bewildered as to the function of everyday objects? Are you also disillusioned with the barren landscape of our fine institution? Well, you’re in luck, because for ...
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Warnings, panic and general hubbub about the new Delta strain of COVID-19 have been dominating the news cycle over the past few weeks. Envious of all the attention showered on Delta, local Zeta Beta T...
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Those tired by constantly having to search up their favorite hated Instagram accounts to see if they’ve posted any more ridiculous content can worry no more: Instagram will finally let you follow th...
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Many have been both shocked and saddened by this news, but also deeply surprised by the reason behind this decline.
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DEL PLAYA ROAD — Dust and confusion were both kicked up into the air on Saturday as 24 separate roller skaters collided in what can only be described as a cartoon-like whirlwind of limbs and wheels....
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"This crowd pleaser is an innovative take on the classic gazpacho. Ortega chefs insist that this dish was in fact heavily requested by students and not created due to a tight budget."
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Pardall Tunnel herself remains parched, empty and in desperate need of a biker — or several eager bikers — to just run through her already.
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Pepper admits that she was motivated to post it after experiencing sexism firsthand in her workplace
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“Hey, I’m at the Bike Boutique right now … Really has me thinking that you were always my Bike Boo. I should’ve been more willing to switch gears for you. I just wish we could backpedal and pi...
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Last week, the Gaucho community received exciting news that Oprah Winfrey — entertainment tycoon and one of the nation’s wealthiest self-made women — would be speaking at UC Santa Barbara’s sp...
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Isla Vistan pregamers are thrilled to hear that downtown Santa Barbara — famous for its bustling nightlife — is literally on fire tonight.
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This new surge in popularity of activism-adjacent paraphernalia has led to the overproduction of Instagram infographics to the point of market saturation
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I arrived at Ortega under the cover of darkness, as instructed. I knocked at the door three times and was immediately whisked inside, blindfolded and led to the middle of the dining common.
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“All of you are why we can’t have nice things. We tried to do a good thing and let anyone cancel people that deserved it, but y’all had to go and ruin it”
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I do believe you! But when you’re just making up places that I’ve never heard before, it’s a little suspicious.
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
