Sad! You Were Expecting a Nexustentialism Article, But I Was Too Depressed To Write One

That’s it, that’s the article.
read more

UCSB Eases Admission Requirements, “Pants No Longer Required”

The long-awaited decision came after weeks of pantsless Zoom-call deliberation among COVID-19 response staff.
read more

Sad! Girl in Quarantine Running Out of Boys to Drunk Text

  Half a bottle of raspberry Smirnoff seeped into the carpet of UC Santa Barbara sophomore Sarah Varelli’s room in her parents’ lavish upper-middle-class Temecula home Thursday night after ...
read more

UCSB Employees You’re Legally Allowed To Fuck

You’re back at it again, you sick hedonist! If you’ve spent the entirety of fall quarter desperately scouring around campus for a mere crumb of physical affection, scour no further — Nexustentia...
read more