UCSB To Have In-Person Zoom Classes

June 19, 2020 by

The University of California has recently made the landmark decision to embark into a new frontier of educational possibilities: The Zoom classes utilized for remote instruction during the Spring Quar...
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Sad! You Were Expecting a Nexustentialism Article, But I Was Too Depressed To Write One

May 20, 2020 by

That’s it, that’s the article.
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UCSB Eases Admission Requirements, “Pants No Longer Required”

May 12, 2020 by

The long-awaited decision came after weeks of pantsless Zoom-call deliberation among COVID-19 response staff.
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Sad! Girl in Quarantine Running Out of Boys to Drunk Text

April 16, 2020 by

  Half a bottle of raspberry Smirnoff seeped into the carpet of UC Santa Barbara sophomore Sarah Varelli’s room in her parents’ lavish upper-middle-class Temecula home Thursday night after ...
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UCSB Employees You’re Legally Allowed To Fuck

January 23, 2020 by

You’re back at it again, you sick hedonist! If you’ve spent the entirety of fall quarter desperately scouring around campus for a mere crumb of physical affection, scour no further — Nexustentia...
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