Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
Feeling moldy lately? You and the homes of students in Isla Vista have that in common! Many students have found themselves calling up their landlords, worried about the ever growing presence of mold i...
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Time may be up for UCSB’s beloved mascot Olé, with claims that he is handsome, gorgeous and overall too sexy thrusting his design into hot water. The once beloved and unproblematic mascot, perhaps ...
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Siavash Ghadiri / Daily Nexus Zoom, Calif. — Just before the pandemic began in 2020, graduate students at UCSB and around the UC system were protesting the University for a Cost Of Living Adjustme...
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Plans for the rig will feature 50 suite-style rooms, common areas, free petroleum, and a dining hall. Transportation will consist of a twice-a-day boat shuttle, and a damp towel will be provided to st...
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As empaths, Yang’s story of trials and tribulations is excruciatingly hard to hear, but we’re thankful that the customers of UCSB support their chancellor after everything else he’s done.
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I’m really excited to come! I’ve always felt that, you know, coming face to face is one of the greatest pleasures of life. Coming in person is kind of like my love language.
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Wait, what? Don’t even think about bringing up the hotel dorms right now, babe, I can’t believe you would do that. That really hurts. I can’t believe this. Can we just drop this? Please? That’...
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PASADO RD, ISLA VISTA – A soft wash of silence fell over the houses on the 66 block of Pasado Road last Sunday. “Finally,” sophomore Capri Khorn let out with a sigh, propping her feet up atop he...
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Disclaimer: This is a real news story, and any similarity or relationship to fictional persons, monsters, fairies and deities living or dead is a mere coincidence. ISLA VISTA, CALIFORNIA — Late ...
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In what is surely a cosmic turn of events, an alignment of the stars, a blessing from above, second-year Hailey Bailey’s daily horoscope was close enough for her to continue believing in astrology. ...
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ISLA VISTA, Calif. — Residents felt shock waves of emotional distress last night as pop superstar and harbinger of seasonal depression Taylor Swift released “Red (Taylor’s Version),” her rerec...
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IN THE BEGINNING, THERE SHALL BE NOTHING. THENCE, I SHALL SPEAK INTO EXISTENCE A DINING HALL LIKE NO OTHER THAT HAS BEEN SEEN.
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“That head is not architecturally sound,” lamented McFadden. “He looks like an egg, like a hard-boiled Humpty Dumpty."
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“I don’t know why people are complaining,” Munger stated. “Imagine seeing 4,500 people daily. I haven’t seen anyone in weeks!"
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After hearing about the local police ordinance set in place for Halloween, a few innovative UCSB students are planning to throw a Christmas party instead. “We kept hearing that I.V. isn’t throwing...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
