Liberal? You mean Lib Earl?

February 1, 2024 by

You can always see lib Earl in the same spot on the fourth floor, the personable man that he is, studying away to the both neutral and unassuming beats of Lofi Girl.
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Freshman Stanley Cup filled with milk

January 18, 2024 by

Some say they can still see the outline of the milky edge burned into the floor where the incident occurred...
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Everyone is in Europe this summer except for you

July 18, 2023 by

The nausea that you get from being on TikTok for 15 hours every day is the nausea you wish was from a 15 hour flight to Spain.
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Someone needs to kiss me on the mouth while my voice is still raspy, sickly and sexy

January 26, 2023 by

Call me Narcissus, but I think this Narcissus is rightfully deserving of some kisses-us.
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I will make no apologies for the person I become on the bike path

October 11, 2022 by

Get out. Leave. Literally, take your bike and start riding across the grass, because at the speed you’re going, you’ll get to class at the same time anyways. It’s what you deserve.
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Five Ways to Avoid Walking Into Class Sweating Like a God-fearer in the Seventh Circle of Hell

September 1, 2022 by

You walk into the classroom and the class goes quiet. Your body has betrayed you; you are dripping sweat from every inch of your body.
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Greeks Go Green Try Greening Out

August 5, 2022 by

Greeks Go Green took part in an event of true sisterhood where they collectively attempted to reach a level of high called “greening out.”
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Whoopee! The Four Winds Have Arrived in I.V. To Forsake Us All

May 12, 2022 by

After sending a correspondent into the sky via the slingshot we rented from a carnival company, we have received input from the four winds and their thoughts on their massive blowings and whooshes bom...
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Chancellor Yang: “Babe, What Do You Mean the Other UCs are All Going Online? That Must Have Been a Bad Dream…”

January 7, 2022 by

Wait, what? Don’t even think about bringing up the hotel dorms right now, babe, I can’t believe you would do that. That really hurts. I can’t believe this. Can we just drop this? Please? That’...
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