Meel F. Lover

February 1, 2024

Liberal? You mean Lib Earl?

By Meel F. Lover

You can always see lib Earl in the same spot on the fourth floor, the personable man that he is, studying away to the both neutral and unassuming beats of Lofi Girl.

January 18, 2024

Freshman Stanley Cup filled with milk

By Meel F. Lover

Some say they can still see the outline of the milky edge burned into the floor where the incident occurred...

July 18, 2023

Everyone is in Europe this summer except for you

By Meel F. Lover

The nausea that you get from being on TikTok for 15 hours every day is the nausea you wish was from a 15 hour flight to Spain.

January 26, 2023

Someone needs to kiss me on the mouth while my voice is still raspy, sickly and sexy

By Meel F. Lover

Call me Narcissus, but I think this Narcissus is rightfully deserving of some kisses-us.

October 11, 2022

I will make no apologies for the person I become on the bike path

By Meel F. Lover

Get out. Leave. Literally, take your bike and start riding across the grass, because at the speed you’re going, you’ll get to class at the same time anyways. It’s what you deserve.

September 1, 2022

Five Ways to Avoid Walking Into Class Sweating Like a God-fearer in the Seventh Circle of Hell

By Meel F. Lover

You walk into the classroom and the class goes quiet. Your body has betrayed you; you are dripping sweat from every inch of your body.

August 5, 2022

Greeks Go Green Try Greening Out

By Meel F. Lover

Greeks Go Green took part in an event of true sisterhood where they collectively attempted to reach a level of high called “greening out.”

May 12, 2022

Whoopee! The Four Winds Have Arrived in I.V. To Forsake Us All

By Meel F. Lover

After sending a correspondent into the sky via the slingshot we rented from a carnival company, we have received input from the four winds and their thoughts on their massive blowings and whooshes bombarding our little s...

January 7, 2022

Chancellor Yang: “Babe, What Do You Mean the Other UCs are All Going Online? That Must Have Been a Bad Dream…”

By Meel F. Lover

Wait, what? Don’t even think about bringing up the hotel dorms right now, babe, I can’t believe you would do that. That really hurts. I can’t believe this. Can we just drop this? Please? That’s literally all I wa...