Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
With the dust from the election finally beginning to settle, it’s important to practice self-care techniques to ease your mind from this heinous experience. However, remembering another bizarre or u...
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True enough indeed, reports have come in from all across the country that small children and animals, as well as many a bouncy house, were swept into the sky as soon as the news broke that Biden would...
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A palpable sexual tension could be felt throughout the country as votes trickled in for the 2020 presidential election.
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Witnesses describe that the gnomes — lit only by the light of the moon — began to fortify the walls of Girvetz, dig a moat and lock themselves inside.
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"Wearing Tillys was a pretty good form of abstinence until it started physically repulsing my close friends and family."
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There's definitely something going on with A.S. right now and we'd tell you what it is, but we honestly don't really care enough to look into it.
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Faced with heaps of empty white claw cans and having forgotten the feeling of human touch, lonely Isla Vistans have found a questionable quarantine pastime.
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The I.V. residents Nexustentialism spoke with all seemed to share a unanimous sense of reassurance in knowing that COVID-19 would not be infiltrating the sanctity of this yearly ritual.
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Oh, to be young, beautiful and a viral sensation. Emphasis on the viral.
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The fly who landed on Mike Pence’s head passed away in his compost pile on Monday night. He was 22 days, 16 hours old. The doctors said he died of thorax complications.
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New photographic evidence has revealed that, despite the rose-tinted glasses of memory through which many Gauchos have been envisioning UCSB, the campus is still, according to high-tech visual analysi...
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After enjoying a week of newfound notoriety, the now-infamous housefly (Musca domestica) that made its debut on the downy white head of Vice President Mike Pence during the 2020 United States vice-pre...
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“Sure I don’t ‘have walls,’ and maybe I don’t ‘get to be dry’ all the time,” Lopez said, while speaking from the half inflated raft she’s been living in off the coast of Devereux. ...
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“It’s a shame he can’t socially distance his mouth from his nose.”
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“I’ve never felt so seen!” said CSO veteran John Schweineliebhaber, a straight, cisgender, white man studying economics.
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
