H.L. Adams

April 5, 2022

CALPIRG Petition Tactics Fail, Mascot To Resort to War Crimes

By H.L. Adams

“They’re trying to like gaslight me into saving the environment, which isn’t very cash money of them you know?” said Saraa Nara, a fourth year who is “lowkey tired” of CALPIRG’s bullshit.

October 28, 2021

Horse Girl Actually Excited To See Horsey Cops This Halloweekend

By H.L. Adams

Perhaps the only fan of Isla Vista’s horse-mounted officers, UCSB’s own horse girl, Filly Gelding, revels in anticipation to hear the clip-clop of hooves against the pavement each year.

August 26, 2021

Lagoon Monster’s Parents Wish That He’d Call Home More Often

By H.L. Adams

Notwithstanding that UC Santa Barbara’s lagoon resident Swamp Yang is a full-fledged adult, his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Yang, wish that he’d call home more often. If Mrs. Yang doesn’t receive a phone call from her so...

July 13, 2021

Dr. Pepper Is Actually a Woman, You Sexist Fuck

By H.L. Adams

Pepper admits that she was motivated to post it after experiencing sexism firsthand in her workplace