Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

Little Known UCSB Campus Facts You Need Should Totally Know!

March 8, 2018 by

The buildings in fact have stories and not just “good personalities.”
read more

BREAKING NEWS: MEN AIN’T SHIT

March 6, 2018 by

Men, yes ALL men, ain’t shit.
read more

Ole the Mascot Replaced By Nachos, Freebirds Rejoices

March 5, 2018 by

“Worry not, folks. Our new mascot is a plate of Freebirds Nachos.”
read more

New Snapchat Update Now Leading Cause of Divorce

March 2, 2018 by

Having a 200-day or more streak absolutely guarantees a zero chance of divorce.
read more

EPIDEMIC: Local fools make personal posts on Free & For Sale instead of their profile

March 1, 2018 by

In an astonishing turn of events, local Isla Vista fool put a rant up on the Free & For Sale page instead of on her personal profile.
read more

When All Is Said and Dine: A Pro Chef’s Thoughts on College Food

February 27, 2018 by

Over the weekend, UCSB Housing, Dining and Auxiliary Enterprises were surprised with a visit from none other than renowned chef, Gordon Ramsay.
read more

The People vs. Freebirds: American Crime Story

February 26, 2018 by

This indelible infraction is one step too far.
read more

Tampon Plugging and Butt Chugging: A Midterms Guide to Yerba

February 23, 2018 by

It’s midterms, my dudes.
read more

UCSB Student Complains About First-World Problems, Insists You Don’t @ Her

February 22, 2018 by

These issues REALLY matter.
read more

VOTE: What should Ryan get tattooed on his butt?

February 21, 2018 by

Yes, you read that right.
read more

Del Playa at Risk of Falling into Ocean Spiritually and Physically

February 19, 2018 by

Ninety percent of Del Playa cliff erosion is caused by dubstep music and loud bass.
read more

Valentine’s Day Epiphany: Previously DTF Man Now DTForm a Genuine Relationship

February 16, 2018 by

I owe so much to Valentine: he’s looking out for his bros.
read more

I Asked 30 Girls on Tinder What They Thought About Stamps

February 15, 2018 by

What do you think of stamps?
read more

Girl Reminisces About Best Valentine’s Day Hookup

February 14, 2018 by

He gets me and that’s one of the things I love about him.
read more

The Secret to Convincing Your FWB to Commit on Valentine’s Day

February 13, 2018 by

Your resident unofficial Daily Nexus Sex and Relationship columnist takes on Valentine's Day commitments.
read more