Nexustentialism

April 5, 2018

Uh Oh! Your Upstairs Neighbor Bryan is Playing the Guitar Again!

By Hannah Jackson

Since diving headfirst into YouTube tutorials, Bryan has quickly expanded his repertoire.

April 3, 2018

My Mom Reacts To My Articles

By Christina Muoio

This is supposed to be a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke.

March 30, 2018

How to Sexile Your Parents During Spring Break

By Candace Dunkin

The advice you’ve all been waiting for.

March 20, 2018

Student with Poor Music Taste Suffers Ruptured Eardrums in Davidson

By Emily Anne Williams

“I wish I had listened to my mom when I still could."

March 20, 2018

The 10 Commandments to Get Through Finals Week

By Anat Katzir

Surprise! Life isn’t perfect. I’m fucking stressed, for one.

March 19, 2018

Student Puts Juul Pods Above Blue Books, Fails Finals

By Juules Vern

He doesn't regret his choice.

March 17, 2018

UCSB Psychology Study Finds Best Way to Relieve Stress is to Sigh Loudly at Davidson Library

By Ricardo Moreno

The passive aggression in the room was palpable.

March 15, 2018

Student’s Glare Fails to Thwart Study Group from Invading Library Table

By Hannah Jackson

Residents of neighboring tables looked on with mixed sympathy and frustration.

March 14, 2018

How to Celebrate Not Turning 21: A Guide to Surviving Your 2 Lamest Birthdays

By Christina Muoio

If you’re between the ages of 19 and 20, the excitement of your special day has long faded.

March 13, 2018

Students Graduate 1 Quarter Early, No One Cares

By Erin Lubitz

I mean, it’s just a quarter. It’s not good or bad. Just what they did.

March 12, 2018

Free Water of Isla Vista, Ranked

By Ryan Watt

Scenario. It’s summer:  you’re just getting out of your last class of the day.

March 9, 2018

Confused First Year Thought He’d Have More Sex By Now

By Emma Demorest

Flynn really thought this would be “his year”, as far as sexual escapades go.

March 8, 2018

Little Known UCSB Campus Facts You Need Should Totally Know!

By Brock Clark

The buildings in fact have stories and not just “good personalities.”

March 6, 2018

BREAKING NEWS: MEN AIN’T SHIT

By Mia Roncati

Men, yes ALL men, ain’t shit.

March 5, 2018

Ole the Mascot Replaced By Nachos, Freebirds Rejoices

By Christina Muoio

“Worry not, folks. Our new mascot is a plate of Freebirds Nachos.”

March 2, 2018

New Snapchat Update Now Leading Cause of Divorce

By Mia Roncati

Having a 200-day or more streak absolutely guarantees a zero chance of divorce.