Courtesy UCSB Conference Services

With Spring Quarter coming to a close, I have started reflecting on my oh so lovely freshman year. I had the absolute pleasure of residing in San Nicolas Residence Hall, spending a whole extra quarter with my lovely hallmates.

It is my strong belief that San Nic is the greatest residence hall to reside on this great campus. It has taught all of its residents and pushed us to be better people. I am eternally grateful and am in great denial that I will be moving out into IV next year. San Nic, you’re so sick that I’d suck your dick.

You are a 9.8/10, no question about it.

Cutting down the list of highlights of the 2017-18 San Nic experience to 10 was difficult. These were the 10 most meaningful experiences, gifts and opportunities that San Nic blessed us with :)

1. The Yak that resided outside of the girls bathroom for over two weeks.

While someone of authority put chips in it, it kept us out of the bathroom for the time it remained. It was San Nic’s way of saving the environment by limiting my bathroom water consumption.

2. Yak in the elevators.

It forces you to take the stairs. Not only do you get that bubble butt, but you are being friendly to your environment.

3. The bloody pads and entire wigs left in the showers.

You can just collect the hair and sell them as full wigs. Works as a fundraising idea or can work to curb that universally hated college student budget. The pads keep us out of the showers, which also does its part in helping save water.

4. Roommates that hook up with their mans when you are awake.

An awesome bonding experience that also taught us how to be effectively heavy sleepers.

5. A lingering smell of used condoms that penetrates the hallways.

Nothing works better to mobilize college freshman to use protection. This is so important, because if you don’t use protection, “You will get chlamydia and die.”

6. The overwhelming smell of rotten fish in the lounge.

It gave us the push we’ve all always needed to go vegetarian #savingearth.

7. The bed bugs.

A lounge sleepover with all the stranded really brought our floor together. Who needs a bed when you have a mysteriously stained couch?

8. An entire laundry room that goes out of service.

Obviously, not washing your clothes saves water and energy. But, no access to laundry serves as a fun challenge to be creative and make new outfits. Who knew that turning shirts and socks inside out could be so trendy!?!

9. People that have sex in the shower right next to the one you are currently using.

This is just a reflection of how close we have all gotten. Boundaries literally do not exist. It’s also a clear cut example of how considerate roommates in San Nic are. They would rather fuck with other people around them in a fungus infected, hair-covered stall than sexile their roommate.

10. Bathroom pubes situations and bathroom biohazards.

Seeing all of those pubes in their natural, glorious beauty gives us the confidence we need to rock the full bush look. Also, because of the biohazards, you can’t even enter the bathrooms to shave it off!


Nicola Nicoli is a freshman that urges all incoming freshman to sign up for San Nicolas as their first choice housing choice and San Raf and Manzanita as their second and third choices.