Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
In a recent report released by whatever lonely researchers are still on campus during summer sessions, it has been revealed that the incidence of lone tumbleweeds drifting through the streets o...
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Though many students think of summer as providing perfect day-drinking weather and not much else, it is also prime time for renovations across campus. As if there weren’t enough construction ...
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Second-year communication major Luke Hampton is spending his summer on the lowest possible rung of the corporate ladder and is having a really awesome time, in case you were wondering. Accordin...
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A little known fact about college is that it’s actually just like high school, if you can’t get in with the cool kids, you may as well be out. As the social hierarchy of our fine university...
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With summer just starting up, UCSB students are searching for that perfect darty outfit staple. One student, Teah Tee, found one that she claims “totally finishes all of her outfits” — a piercin...
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We’ve all heard it said that there’s nothing like a summer in Isla Vista. However, some Gauchos would rather skurt after turning in their last blue book and return to their hometown, feeling oblig...
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Famous survivalist Bear Grylls announced on Twitter last night that for his next television special, he would be spending a week in the bathroom at Buchanan Hall. “I’ve survived under som...
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My roommates like to surprise me by not telling me any information whatsoever. I don’t even blame them; it makes life more thrilling. So, you can imagine my surprise when all three of my roommates s...
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In an unsurprising yet disappointing series of photos, it would appear that local senior and alcoholic Becca Chugg took her graduation photos in SOS Liquor, citing the memories and lessons learned fro...
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As the end of the year approaches, graduating seniors in romantic relationships are faced with a difficult decision: marry their college sweetheart or break up with them. Seeing that breaking up is mu...
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As finals week creeps near, students across campus are gracing their professors’ office hours, many for the first time all quarter. This has led to massive overcrowding in the office hours for a The...
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What is a hot take? I like slangit.com’s definition: “A hot take is a term that refers to a controversial opinion. It is referred to as ‘hot’ because it goes against the majority of opinions a...
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Among Free and For Sale’s desperate pleas for a subleaser and the demand for cute, trendy clothes, there exists a subset of the posts that are specifically tailored to one individual.
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It takes an especially driven person to become a TA for a class of undergraduate students and even more so for those brave souls who decide to take on discussion sections on Monday mornings. We at Nex...
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As an indie person at UCSB, I feel it’s so important to highlight the lifestyle and life choices of an Indie in the UCSB community, as we are so often marginalized by the many frat, srat and basic w...
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Chronically single
“Casual” by Chappell Roan
“Atmosphere” by FISHER
The entire shared playlist with their ex
“Je te laisserai des mots” by Patrick Watson
“If Only” by The Marías
Their ex’s old voice memos
White noise
“ceilings” by Lizzy McAlpine
“Marvins Room” by Drake
“KLOusFRENS” by Bad Bunny
“Somebody Else” by The 1975
