Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
Kicking off dead week with some added stress, Isla Vista was plunged into darkness late Monday night, likely as a result of raging fires in Ventura County. Many students abandoned studying to storm DP...
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In an unsurprising turn of events, lame-ass frat Sigma Tau Delta has resorted to tabling in The Arbor yesterday just to get people to come to their dumb parties.
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With finals fast approaching we're all running short on time to cram either knowledge or genitalia. Fear not! Below is our illustrated guide on how to make the most of your next two weeks.
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With parent’s weekend having just passed, we know the reality has hit that you have no clue what to do when parents come visiting. Fear not: Nexustentialism is here to help. And, never one for an un...
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They said it couldn’t be done, but that one guy always coughing in your lectures has finally been identified as third-year biology major Dan Nutmeg.
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Winter quarter registration pass times have quickly arrived, leaving everyone panicking about getting the classes they need while dreaming about the perfect world they will immerse themselves in if th...
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Eggbert the Alien is back again and sharing his universally renown wisdom on all things from budding classroom romances to dirty dishes.
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With just over a year since, Nexustentialism reflects on just how unbelievably sexual some of Trump's tweets are. Here's the five that got us the most wet:
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Several disappointed freshmen have been seen mourning the loss of their high school graduation money after spending it on an arsenal of Halloween costumes fit to combat the Halloweens of Isla Vista’...
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While Eggbert the Alien may be new to Earth, he is not new to the pursuit of knowledge. Here, students ask UCSB’s resident alien a few questions about academia, studying for midterms, writing papers...
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In a statement from the Office of the Chancellor yesterday, Chancellor Henry T. Yang expressed his wishes for a “peaceful Halloween with limited buffoonery." There were additional calls for students...
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Everywhere you go there are pumpkin-spiced treats: cafes, restaurants, bakeries — even Bath & Body Works. If you want to stay home, though, fret not! You too can recreate this delicious taste.
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Since tickets are now linked with ACCESS cards and ASPB members are patrolling Free & For Sale like over-eager hawks, student’s have now taken to fully assuming the identity of fellow Gauchos to be ...
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Case-Barnes deliberately expressed that his glorified tree graveyard has all the comforts of home that an over-caffeinated nerd could dream of.
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Three weeks into the school year and the controversial decision to install a traffic light on Pardall has seemed to pay off.
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
