Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

Excuses to Avoid Being Stopped Near the Arbor

January 21, 2015 by

Because "I'm late to class" doesn't quite cut it anymore.
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Man Sells Spleen to Buy Coachella Tickets

January 13, 2015 by

The line in front of the Isla Vista General Clinic wrapped around the block on Jan. 6, the day before Coachella ticket sales went live.
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Overheard in Isla Vista

January 12, 2015 by

Hello boys and girls, welcome back to the first week of 2015.
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10 New Year Resolutions for a Real Gaucho

December 31, 2014 by

New year, new you. At least that’s what we tell ourselves every first morning of January.
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Free Condoms and Red Vines to All

December 25, 2014 by

’Twas the Saturday before finals...
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A Letter to Santa

December 24, 2014 by

Dear Santa, It has been another long year in college and I know you can probably find my name somewhere near the top of the naughty list, but don’t let that fool you...
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The Painful Stages of Pulling an All-Nighter

December 17, 2014 by

We've all been there.
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Possible Professions for the College Drop-out

December 10, 2014 by

We have reached the time of year where the finals sluggishness sets in and the only thing that is on your mind are those SBMenu deals.
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8 Awkward Moments of Being Home for Thanksgiving

November 30, 2014 by

Going back home for Thanksgiving is always a reality check
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8 Things to Be UNthankful for This Thanksgiving

November 25, 2014 by

Because some things really don't deserve my thanks...
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13 Non-sexual Condom Uses

November 19, 2014 by

As a freshman there is never a shortage of different groups trying to get your attention, most offering free condoms as an incentive. Weirdly enough, simply amassing a warehouse-sized supply of condom...
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10 Yangformations That Need to be Seen

November 17, 2014 by

If you haven't imagined what Chancellor Yang's head looks like Photoshopped on Kim Kardashian's new booty pic, you obviously need to get your priorities straight.
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11 Notable Isla Vista Fashion Trends

November 13, 2014 by

Whether you love them or hate them, you’ll be sure to see these on every block.
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14 Things to Do When You Get Sexiled

November 12, 2014 by

It happens to everyone.
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7 Ways to Break Lecture Etiquette

November 11, 2014 by

After somehow finding the motivation to get to that awful 8 a.m., nothing is more emotionally painful than being annoyed by the plethora of students that violate basic rules of lecture etiquette.
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