Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

Pros and Cons of Missing Mother’s Day

May 11, 2015 by

Being away at college means that you miss a lot of family gossip and events. Sometimes you forget that life moves on without you.
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Cinco de Drinko?

May 5, 2015 by

Now don’t get me wrong, Cinco de Mayo is one of the greatest days known to mankind—and I’m not just saying that because I, myself, was born on May 5th. However, where does Cinco de Drinko cross ...
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DMT: The Enigmatic Alkaloid

May 4, 2015 by

There’s one drug that stands out amongst the rest. People talk about it like they would an urban legend or ancient myth. That drug is DMT — aka N,N-Dimethyltryptamine.
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Extravaganza 2015 Lineup Predictions

May 1, 2015 by

With Extravaganza right around the corner, there has been much speculation as to which artists are going to make the lineup.
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9 Common Questions Asked by Future Freshmen

April 29, 2015 by

We’ve all been there. It’s your first day on campus, and all you’re trying to do is get some info about your soon-to-be university.
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“Unfriended” Film Review

April 28, 2015 by

To be honest, I was planning to shit on this movie. It looked shitty, it sounded shitty, and given my jaded tendencies, I was expecting to have a shitty time.
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Some Insight into Spring Insight

April 9, 2015 by

On Saturday, April 11th, all future Gauchos will be visiting our paradise of a school in hopes of getting a glimpse of what the next four years of their life will be like.
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Make Every Day F.A.D.

March 8, 2015 by

In honor of International Women’s Day, I would like to take a moment to honor the women around the world who have dedicated their lives to further equality in our not-so-equal world; women, both tou...
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Sober Thoughts in a Drunken Environment

February 26, 2015 by and

Being sober at a party where everyone else isn't can definitely be annoying because of people pushing and bumping into you, the heat and smell from dancing the night away, and the infinite amount of d...
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5 Ideal Napping Locations

February 19, 2015 by

Everybody likes a good nap. Whether after an 8 a.m. you didn’t have enough sleep for or during a weirdly-spaced gap between classes, a quick nap can help reset your day and get you going again.
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Fifty Shades of Grey Reviewed by a Guy

February 16, 2015 by

Every day people go to the theater hoping to see the film of our generation, the movie everybody will remember.
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How To Survive Single Awareness Day

February 13, 2015 by

February 14. While some may know this as a day full of heart-eyed emojis, romance and mushy feelings, for a lot of us, it’s a reminder of your singleness.
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Valentine’s Day Floral Sales Likely to Lower Atmospheric Oxygen

February 11, 2015 by

Researchers believe that this weekend’s national sales of flowers will cause an ever-so-noticeable decline in our atmospheric oxygen, slowly killing our planet.
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Student Signs Lease Demanding Human Soul as Security Deposit

February 9, 2015 by

As apartment hunting season progresses, students across Isla Vista are on the lookout for the perfect home for the coming school year.
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I.V. Deemed Void of Nutritional Benefits by USDA

February 6, 2015 by

In a shocking feat last Tuesday, the United States Department of Agriculture declared the college town of Isla Vista, California a food desert.
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