Nexustentialism

November 17, 2015

10 Isla Vista Commandments

By Zoey Brandt

Trumpeted by the thundering waves, bellowing frat boys and wailing sirens of a Friday night in Isla Vista, the great Chancellor Yang descended upon one unworthy Nexus writer to set forth a set of rules to govern the stud...

November 12, 2015

A Breakup Letter to Trader Joe’s

By Jenny De La Cuadra

Look, I’ve got to say something here, but don’t think this means I love you any less, because that’s just not true; my love will never change. You’ve taken me places and done things for me I don’t think I could...

November 11, 2015

The Comprehensive Roommate Breakdown

By Jake Feder

The term “roommate” is a funny one. Per the perennial linguistic powerhouse, dictionary.com, it is simply defined as, “a person who is assigned to share or shares a room or apartment with another or others.” I wo...

November 10, 2015

Twitter Threatens Male Masculinity

By Collin McLeod

In case you missed it, Twitter unveiled a new way to show your appreciation of another person’s tweet this week. Instead of having the option to “favorite” a tweet with a star, you now “like” a tweet with a hea...

November 5, 2015

How To Spot An I.V. Fuckboi

By The Fuckboi Whisperer

  Fuckboi (n.): a male specimen who has the characteristics or tendencies of the ultimate douchebag; possibly considers himself a “meninist”; makes up for his insecurities by drinking a lot of shitty beer and ca...

November 4, 2015

If Stars Were Really ‘Just Like Us’

By Noah Fence

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really tired of hearing about how Selena Gomez walks with her legs or that Justin Timberlake uses paper towels to dry his hands. As someone who uses deli slices to dry her hands, ...

November 3, 2015

Accurate Isla Vista Street Names

By Jasmine Vaughn

Instead of recognizing any cultural significance behind the beautiful names designating each unique street in this community­­­­, we’ve relabeled them all for present day accuracy. 65 Block: Beyoncé Boulevard, Min...

November 1, 2015

Trick or Chug: Isla Vista Edition

By Miranda Velasquez

We all remember those thrilling, spooky, sugar-induced nights as children where we got to be whatever we wanted and would go around collecting candy just for being cute in our costumes. Those were truly some of the best ...

October 29, 2015

How To Make Booze 101

By Plazon Würtz

Are you tired of having to deal with the high cost of alcohol? Or maybe you’re a freshman without a fake I.D. and no upperclassmen as friends. Either way, worry no more, because cheap and easy booze can be yours: Just ...

October 27, 2015

Elections on Elm Street

By Jake Feder

Halloween is only a hop, skip and jump away, so here at the Daily Nexus, we’d like you to join us in conducting a bit of a thought experiment. Imagine that, just for a second, only evil individuals ran for president. N...

October 24, 2015

California Drought Ends, UCSB Students Feel Conflicted

By Emily Williams

Californians received a huge relief this past Wednesday when a heavy rainstorm flooded the state with an average of 1.5 inches of precipitation. Governor Jerry Brown called a press conference to officially announce the e...

October 22, 2015

Eight DIY Halloween Costumes

By Zoey Brandt

With Halloween just a couple weeks away, the panic to find the perfect costume is setting in. Getting the stuff necessary to become the perfect Daenerys Targaryen or Donald Trump can get pretty expensive. So grab your du...

October 20, 2015

Netflix and Chill: Halloween Edition

By Jake Feder

Ladies and gentlemen, and those who feel they fall somewhere else on the gender spectrum (we are all-inclusive here at the Daily Nexus), grab a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and stay awhile — October is upon us. That means it...

October 15, 2015

Eight Halloween Candy Cocktail Combos

By Jasmine Vaughn

Halloween in college is equal parts childhood nostalgia and bad decisions. You get to do all the fun stuff you wanted to do when you were little, like stay up all night and eat as much unhealthy crap as you want, but you...

October 13, 2015

Five Penis Enlargement Techniques From Around the World

By Kevin Clark

Attention Gauchos! Do you like to ride to and from school on a Harley? Do you commonly use the word ‘faggot’ to describe others on internet forums? Have you been saving your Jamba Juice tip money with the hope to one...

October 12, 2015

10 Funniest Free & For Sale Posts

By Jasmine Vaughn, Maya Rao

No school’s Facebook group offers as much diversity in its posts as the UCSB Free & For Sale page. If you’re getting rid of an old beach cruiser, in the market for some gently used furniture or trying to get your...