Given the fact that California has been in a record-setting drought for the last five years, the promise of heavy rains and snow has given residents hope that they will not have to live in a time where fuckbois aren’t the only people considered perpetually dehydrated. However, we are a few weeks into the El Niño season and it is already showing us signs that it might not be as strong as every scientist predicted. Sound familiar? Yes, it turns out El Niño is the significant other none of us asked for, but have inevitably had. Can’t make the connection? Well here is a list of reasons why El Niño is exactly like your terrible ex.
1.) They keep you home all the time.
Sure, you felt safe being inside in their arms, but you know you have a problem when you have gone weeks without seeing anyone else. It’s time for some fresh air.
2.) They constantly take your money for things you never get to use.
Think of all of the money you have spent on rain gear … how often do you actually use that shit?
3.) They are a total flake.
Every year that El Niño is expected, we are left high and dry without a drop of rain. Just like every time you plan a dinner date and your S.O. has to “work late”… again … for the third time.
4.) They come too late.
We’ve been waiting for this season to end our years-long dry spell, yet El Niño decides to actually show up when you’re no longer in the mood.
5.) They make you feel like you need them.
Did I mention we are in a massive drought? Even with the amount of water that El Niño can give us, it still won’t be enough to quench our thirst. Remember, there are always other ways to hydrate!