Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

May 13, 2015

Waka Flocka Flame’s Presidential Campaign

By WakaFlockaFanBoy96

A few days ago, I experienced a magical re-awakening where the Facebook “trending” news sidebar actually taught me something useful: Waka Flocka Flame had announced that he was running for President of the United Sta...

May 11, 2015

Pros and Cons of Missing Mother’s Day

By Zoey Brandt

Being away at college means that you miss a lot of family gossip and events. Sometimes you forget that life moves on without you.

May 5, 2015

Cinco de Drinko?

By Erin Lubitz

Now don’t get me wrong, Cinco de Mayo is one of the greatest days known to mankind—and I’m not just saying that because I, myself, was born on May 5th. However, where does Cinco de Drinko cross the line?

May 4, 2015

DMT: The Enigmatic Alkaloid

By Plazon Würtz

There’s one drug that stands out amongst the rest. People talk about it like they would an urban legend or ancient myth. That drug is DMT — aka N,N-Dimethyltryptamine.

May 1, 2015

Extravaganza 2015 Lineup Predictions

By Miranda Velasquez

With Extravaganza right around the corner, there has been much speculation as to which artists are going to make the lineup.

April 29, 2015

9 Common Questions Asked by Future Freshmen

By Jake Feder

We’ve all been there. It’s your first day on campus, and all you’re trying to do is get some info about your soon-to-be university.

April 28, 2015

“Unfriended” Film Review

By Kevin Clark

To be honest, I was planning to shit on this movie. It looked shitty, it sounded shitty, and given my jaded tendencies, I was expecting to have a shitty time.

April 9, 2015

Some Insight into Spring Insight

By Maya Rao

On Saturday, April 11th, all future Gauchos will be visiting our paradise of a school in hopes of getting a glimpse of what the next four years of their life will be like.

March 8, 2015

Make Every Day F.A.D.

By Anna Kodelashvili

In honor of International Women’s Day, I would like to take a moment to honor the women around the world who have dedicated their lives to further equality in our not-so-equal world; women, both tough and self-sufficie...

February 26, 2015

Sober Thoughts in a Drunken Environment

By Miranda Velasquez, Evan Swerdfeger

Being sober at a party where everyone else isn't can definitely be annoying because of people pushing and bumping into you, the heat and smell from dancing the night away, and the infinite amount of drinks that are proba...

February 19, 2015

5 Ideal Napping Locations

By Evan Swerdfeger

Everybody likes a good nap. Whether after an 8 a.m. you didn’t have enough sleep for or during a weirdly-spaced gap between classes, a quick nap can help reset your day and get you going again.

February 16, 2015

Fifty Shades of Grey Reviewed by a Guy

By Kevin Clark

Every day people go to the theater hoping to see the film of our generation, the movie everybody will remember.

February 13, 2015

How To Survive Single Awareness Day

By Zoey Brandt

February 14. While some may know this as a day full of heart-eyed emojis, romance and mushy feelings, for a lot of us, it’s a reminder of your singleness.

February 11, 2015

Valentine’s Day Floral Sales Likely to Lower Atmospheric Oxygen

By Anna Kodelashvili

Researchers believe that this weekend’s national sales of flowers will cause an ever-so-noticeable decline in our atmospheric oxygen, slowly killing our planet.