We all remember those thrilling, spooky, sugar-induced nights as children where we got to be whatever we wanted and would go around collecting candy just for being cute in our costumes. Those were truly some of the best days. Now as you are 20-something living in a college slum we call paradise; ask yourself, what kinds of things do you think you would receive if you went trick-or-treating in I.V.?

1.) Top Ramen

Every college student has some of these lying around somewhere, so don’t be surprised.

2.) Condoms

These will for sure be coming in handy for some of you, so make sure to thank that kind person for looking out. #gauchoback

3.) Potential bong rip…?

According to the wise words of timeless philosopher Snoop Canine, “Ignite thy cannabis every day.”

4.) … or a shot of leftover Jose that has been sitting out without a cap on it for the last week?

You may find a fruit fly or two in your tequila, but you probably lift and are currently working on the gains so a little extra protein won’t hurt.

5.) The moldy tortilla that lurks in the back of the fridge

Everyone knows it is there. It stares you in the eye every time the fridge is opened, yet it has been there for so long you just don’t have the heart to throw it away.

6.) Empty handles

Get creative; make DIY decor for your apartment.

7.) A roll of toilet paper

PSYKE. In a town that consistently has a shortage of available toilet paper, don’t expect to find this delicacy in your pillowcase.

8.) Cigarettes

No thanks.

9.) A phone number

There are some good-looking gauchos in this one square mile beach town. Who knows, maybe you could run into the love of your life.

10.) Actual candy

There’s like a 2% chance you will actually get a piece of candy.

11.) Nothing

Some people might hit you with a, “Sorry I don’t have anything to give you.” Mmmmmmm oh my god…