jackGet excited, people. Presidential Elections are a mere 16 months away. That means we have just enough time to start researching the candidates most deserving of our vote, which, in the solid blue state of California, is pretty must destined for the Democratic nominee. Nonetheless, I am not one to take the privilege of voting lightly, and as such, I plan to start diving deep into the lives of all declared candidates from both major parties and then sharing all the irrelevant information I’ve learned with you, the soon ­to­ be ­informed voter. The series of articles will focus mainly on major candidates but we’ll be starting with some of the more fringe ones first.

While the format is certainly subject to change, broadly speaking, each candidate review will involve their voting record, key accomplishments, qualifications, key financial contributors and a greatest hits edition of their best gaffes. First on the chopping block is perennial Republican nominee hopeful, Jack Fellure.

The Resume:

Fellure is back, yet again, with his hat in the ring for an astounding eighth time. A retired engineer from the great state of West Virginia, this eager beaver has the unimportant distinction of being the first candidate to declare, filing with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) just one day after Obama retained the presidency in October of 2012. The 2016 Election will see Fellure’s glorious return to the Republican Party after having joined, and been nominated by, the Prohibition Party (yes, it’s still a real thing). Fellure’s nomination by the party is his most notable political victory to date.

Voting Record:

Not applicable in this case, as Fellure has yet to hold a position of note.

Platform Points:

As his time with the Prohibition Party should make clear, he’s a bit of a social conservative … He said the country is being ruined by “atheists, Marxists, liberals, queers, liars, draft dodgers, flag burners, dope addicts, sex perverts and anti­-Christians.” In 1992 when he was asked by the FEC to provide a copy of his political platform, he gave the commission a printed version of the 1611 King James Bible.

Why should you vote for him?

Hate the idea of a country running rampant with drugs, alcohol and ideas not explicitly outlined in the Christian Bible? If so, Fellure is your man.

Why shouldn’t you vote for him?

This really isn’t even a choice you’re likely to face so don’t lose any sleep over it.


1. http://www.prohibitionparty.org/

2. https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=8qssAAAAIBAJ&sjid=IhUEAAAAIBAJ&pg=2566,1755795&dq=jack­fellure&hl=en