Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

The Truth Behind the UCen Bird

May 14, 2018 by

The truth behind the UCen bird is finally revealed with a shocking twist...
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Chats with Chad, Mother’s Day Edition: Are Moms Girls?

May 11, 2018 by

Moms. We all have them – even if you don’t have a belly button, like me.
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Couple Publicly Spooning Outside Lecture Hall Has Really Good Reason for It We Promise

May 10, 2018 by

It has totally strengthened our relationship.
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UC Releases Additional Statement on AFSCME 3299 Strike

May 9, 2018 by

The University of California has released an additional statement regarding their stance on the strike.
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Pubes Still Pissed You Shaved Them, Promise Vengeance

May 8, 2018 by

We didn’t say it was easy being well groomed.
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Jewish Frat Boy Asks, “Is Eating Pussy Kosher for Passover?”

May 7, 2018 by

And Tiffany asked, “what’s Passover?”
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Nice! This Student Didn’t Even Need to Get Laid to Do Walk of Shame

May 3, 2018 by

The Isla Vista Walk of Shame is upon you.
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Daddy Yang, You’re Not the Father

May 1, 2018 by

A paternity test revealed that Daddy Yang is in fact not her biological father.
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Local Bros Experience the Price of Viral Fame

April 30, 2018 by

You know how some people use the bible as guidance in everyday life? We use Barstool Sports.
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New TA Excited to Mansplain to Female Students

April 27, 2018 by

Spring quarter is here and nobody is more excited than freshly minted TA Seth Jameson.
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Rodney Raccoon To Run for A.S. President, A.S. Hopefuls Are Shook

April 27, 2018 by

It’s time raccoons get the representation they deserve.
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Timely Warning: Protect Our Raccoons

April 25, 2018 by

Warning: This article may contain material that some readers may find triggering, alarming or upsetting.
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Roommate Poops So Fast It’s Intimidating

April 24, 2018 by

Who the fuck does she think she is?
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Looking to Get Stressed Out? Here Are Some Natural Disasters UCSB Could Maybe Face

April 20, 2018 by

Murphy’s Law states, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”
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I Don’t Know What Chancellor Yang Does Exactly and at This Point I’m Too Afraid to Ask

April 19, 2018 by

Am I comparing Chancellor Yang to McDonald’s? Yes. I love McDonald’s.
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