First Weekend Back

September 24, 2009 by

Welcome back, kiddos. For those of you who overslept this morning, congratulations on a Thursday morning well spent.
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The Oppression Begins

September 17, 2009 by

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is your last official week before the oppression begins yet again.
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The Reason

August 26, 2009 by

So you're coming to UCSB, hmm? I bet it's because we have one of the best Religious Studies programs in the country. Maybe it's because our library has 2.7 million volumes.
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I’m Going to Vegas, Baby!

August 4, 2009 by

I'm afraid that once your friends turn 21, the only thing Facebook is really used for is to tell your friends that you went to/are going to Las Vegas.
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Sweet, Slightly Expired, Revenge

July 15, 2009 by

Fed up with your roommate? Seeking sweet, subtle revenge? Well before you dust off that can of rat poison, I offer you a more clever, albeit less legitimate suggestion: Offer to do their grocery shopp...
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Natural Selection

June 23, 2009 by

So how bout them skateboard paths, eh? Pretty neat. Also, they’re just in time for the summer newbie rush. That means unsuspecting young’ns and their equally oblivious (and less mobile) pa...
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The End of a Reign

June 4, 2009 by

So this is it: the last weather of the year. I have so much to say, and so little space, so I guess I won't say much of anything.
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Dead Week?

June 1, 2009 by

Calling week 10 "Dead Week" is the second-most misleading thing I've been told since coming to UCSB.
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The Mush Pot

May 28, 2009 by

What do you think of Duck, Duck, Goose as a drinking game? It seems like the probability of spilling would be pretty high… and the rules of when to drink don’t exactly seem very clear-cut&...
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My Reflection

May 27, 2009 by

You know when there's a glass door, and right as you come up to it you get a look at your own reflection? Then you're like, "Damn, that is one good-looking reflection." Yeah, you know what I mean. Don...
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Real World Dodging

May 26, 2009 by

Holy shit, seniors, graduation’s coming up! What are you going to do with your lives once you leave this bubble and enter the real world? I mean, with the economy in the awesome state it’s...
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Skater Boy

May 21, 2009 by

Is it just me, or do most girls riding skateboards look like a) they’re trying to achieve liftoff, or b) they would be more at home on a Razor scooter? Most of them aren’t going more than ...
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The Coolest of Crimes

May 20, 2009 by

What I'm about to say defies all of my liberal sensibilities, but it needs to be said.
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Hipsternomics

May 19, 2009 by

Do you have a ringback tone? If yes, is it actually a good song, or are you just being ironic and playing classical music or the JoBros?
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Nihilism and Nursery Rhymes

May 18, 2009 by

Today: Literary analysis Row, row, row your boat -- an obvious reference to the plight of the workingman.
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