The Weatherhuman

August 24, 2011

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

From the depths of the Nexus dungeon, the Weatherhuman warns all ye who bike here: stay on your side of the roundabout or face the CREATURE OF ABYSMAL CONSEQUENCES AND SHIN INJURIES. The ‘human will find you. The ‘hu...

August 3, 2011

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

The Weatherhuman doesn’t really understand why every coffee shop in IV has decided to hold atrociously inconvenient summer hours. Ze isn’t much of a coffee drinker in the first place, but if a ‘human wants a goddam...

July 13, 2011

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

The Harry Potter release is making Thursday night at midnight quite magical. (Or is that Friday morning at midnight?)

October 18, 2010

I Met Her at a Club

By The Weatherhuman

According to Urban Dictionary, Toot it and Boot it can mean two things:

October 13, 2010

I Heart Newbs

By The Weatherhuman

How to tell you’re a freshman...

August 25, 2010

The ‘human Greets the Freshies

By The Weatherhuman

I’d like to preface your sojourn at the University of California, Santa Barbara with nine words that will best summarize your college experience: you think you know, but you have no idea.

May 28, 2010

Weatherliver Takes a Hit

By The Weatherhuman

The Weatherhuman is one more trip to the Study Hall away from a 50 Club membership. Now, is that a triumph or a sign of alcoholism? Either way, my extensive amount of bar tabs tends to speak to the latter. Barkeep? Anoth...

April 21, 2010

Facebook Disappearing Act

By The Weatherhuman

What is God's greatest gift to man? (You know, other than the fact that He doesn't exist?) The Hide Feed option on Facebook.

April 20, 2010

Razzies Beg Bullock for Trophy

By The Weatherhuman

Not even the Razzies can give Sandra Bullock a break these days.

April 19, 2010

It’s My Party

By The Weatherhuman

So... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Good ol' 4/20.

April 19, 2010

Weatherhuman Looks for Worthy Criminals

By The Weatherhuman

Respectable criminals have all but disappeared.

April 14, 2010

Slappin’ da Lawman

By The Weatherhuman

What does the name Steven Seagal bring to mind? B-list actor? Made-for-TV movies? Unrealistic portrayals of a butt-ugly man getting laid by every hot chick straight-to-VHS movies can come up with?

April 13, 2010

Free Swag Doesn’t Garner Votes

By The Weatherhuman

Well, it's that time of year, when all those obnoxiously overachieving folk vying for your vote on GOLD are full-on soliciting for your attention via posters, flyers and pure, face-to-face harassment.

April 13, 2010

La Loca Lohan

By The Weatherhuman

"Mean Girls," based on the 2004 Lindsay Lohan movie. And what do they do? They leave Lindsay Lohan out of the cover art.

April 9, 2010

Bitchy Beach Closures Don’t Stop Shenanigans

By The Weatherhuman

Really, SB County? Shutting down the beaches? Don’t you have something better to spend that money on, like coffee and donuts? I mean, you can’t really have patrol officers working all weekend on empty stomach...

April 8, 2010