Weather

August 24, 2011 by

From the depths of the Nexus dungeon, the Weatherhuman warns all ye who bike here: stay on your side of the roundabout or face the CREATURE OF ABYSMAL CONSEQUENCES AND SHIN INJURIES. The ‘human will...
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Weather

August 3, 2011 by

The Weatherhuman doesn’t really understand why every coffee shop in IV has decided to hold atrociously inconvenient summer hours. Ze isn’t much of a coffee drinker in the first place, but if a ‘...
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Weather

July 13, 2011 by

The Harry Potter release is making Thursday night at midnight quite magical. (Or is that Friday morning at midnight?)
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I Met Her at a Club

October 18, 2010 by

According to Urban Dictionary, Toot it and Boot it can mean two things:
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I Heart Newbs

October 13, 2010 by

How to tell you’re a freshman...
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The ‘human Greets the Freshies

August 25, 2010 by

I’d like to preface your sojourn at the University of California, Santa Barbara with nine words that will best summarize your college experience: you think you know, but you have no idea.
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Weatherliver Takes a Hit

May 28, 2010 by

The Weatherhuman is one more trip to the Study Hall away from a 50 Club membership. Now, is that a triumph or a sign of alcoholism? Either way, my extensive amount of bar tabs tends to speak to the la...
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Facebook Disappearing Act

April 21, 2010 by

What is God's greatest gift to man? (You know, other than the fact that He doesn't exist?) The Hide Feed option on Facebook.
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Razzies Beg Bullock for Trophy

April 20, 2010 by

Not even the Razzies can give Sandra Bullock a break these days.
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It’s My Party

April 19, 2010 by

So... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Good ol' 4/20.
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Weatherhuman Looks for Worthy Criminals

April 19, 2010 by

Respectable criminals have all but disappeared.
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Slappin’ da Lawman

April 14, 2010 by

What does the name Steven Seagal bring to mind? B-list actor? Made-for-TV movies? Unrealistic portrayals of a butt-ugly man getting laid by every hot chick straight-to-VHS movies can come up with?
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Free Swag Doesn’t Garner Votes

April 13, 2010 by

Well, it's that time of year, when all those obnoxiously overachieving folk vying for your vote on GOLD are full-on soliciting for your attention via posters, flyers and pure, face-to-face harassment.
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La Loca Lohan

April 13, 2010 by

"Mean Girls," based on the 2004 Lindsay Lohan movie. And what do they do? They leave Lindsay Lohan out of the cover art.
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Bitchy Beach Closures Don’t Stop Shenanigans

April 9, 2010 by

Really, SB County? Shutting down the beaches? Don’t you have something better to spend that money on, like coffee and donuts? I mean, you can’t really have patrol officers working all week...
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