What is God’s greatest gift to man? (You know, other than the fact that He doesn’t exist?) The Hide Feed option on Facebook. Yes, you know… those friends of obligation online whose updates make you cringe and wish you were dead. I’m sorry, JP Primeau, but I don’t want to know your latest sex fetish. Get a clue, man. So now, with the nifty click of my mouse, poof! And they are none the wiser. Glory.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: Rain. Again. Oh, wait… you wanted something witty? Too bad.