Really, SB County? Shutting down the beaches? Don’t you have something better to spend that money on, like coffee and donuts? I mean, you can’t really have patrol officers working all weekend on empty stomachs. But whatever. We’ll definitely be way safer partying Floatopia hard on the roofs of DP apartments instead of some sand. It’ll be fine. And about that public urination problem, don’t worry, it’s not like we’ll just be pissing over the edges of balconies onto the beach instead, just to spite you.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: I.V.’s going to set a record for public disturbance, with or without that lame-ass beach policy.