Pre-Marinate For Best Results

October 28, 2003 by

A storm is coming. It's coming from where you're from. It's your friends from back home. And boy, are they jazzed about coming to IV for Halloween.
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And the Truth Shall Set You in Pee

October 21, 2003 by

How about the open letter from the Chancellor about National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week? Long, boring and full of statements like "Alcohol abuse directly undercuts the return on your parents' e...
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Stay of Execution

October 14, 2003 by

I sat down well prepared to fail a midterm yesterday. I had a solid 40 minutes total study time for the quarter under my belt and the effects of a two-hour nap lingered in my clouded mind.
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Fat and Groping in Sacramento

October 7, 2003 by

Today is the day the bodybuilders, porn stars, midgets and politicians will battle for the prize--and that's only at the famous Tuesday Twister Tournament at the weathercave.
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Uncaged

September 30, 2003 by

More ugly birthday savagery, but this time one of the weatherfriends was the victim. Drunk, delirious the friend was having a good time-until being spotted by the Sasquatch.
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Look at the Rump on That One

September 24, 2003 by

The long lines of students in front of the local copy shops resembled doomed cattle in more ways than one.
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Escaped Inmates From An Artsy Asylum

May 28, 2003 by

A plea for attention along the walk to class. Those Art 4D mutants have escaped, littering our fair campus with the likes of a human clock and a silly string-happy spider.
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Academic Thought

May 21, 2003 by

People talk about professors being liberal. A few even talk about professors being conservative. But it's much simpler than all that. Most people can tell you what your professors think: They think:
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Ans and Ists

May 14, 2003 by

There's been a lot of hubbub in the news lately about Patriot Act II. Personally, I think the Patriot Acts are just old McCarthy Era legislation that's been dusted off and touched up.
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Weather: Little Webbed Bastard

April 19, 2002 by

Childhood figures do not have sex. Despite allegations, Scrappy is not the love-child of Velma and Scooby. Skipper is Barbie's "younger sister" and Huey Dewey and Louie are just bunking with their ric...
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