Childhood figures do not have sex. Despite allegations, Scrappy is not the love-child of Velma and Scooby. Skipper is Barbie’s “younger sister” and Huey Dewey and Louie are just bunking with their rich Uncle.

Our esteemed guest speaker Kermit the Frog is no exception. He is just another Uncle in an industry filled with lies. We want the truth about Robin! Don’t hop away from the truth.

Monday’s Forecast: Don’t think your sexual misconduct will go unnoticed Miss Piggy. You slut.