The Rite Stuff, Take too…

April 6, 2007 by

I'm homonymphobic, so I can't right write now.
read more

The ‘Pickup’ Truck

April 5, 2007 by

Recently in Texas a woman was indicted for manslaughter after falsely crying rape when her husband caught her and her lover screwing in the bed of a pickup truck, causing her husband to shoot the man.
read more

Galatic Forces

April 4, 2007 by

The 'human brought a movie back to Blockbuster last night.
read more

Child’s Play

April 3, 2007 by

Why does the packaging for Plan B warn users to keep it out of the reach of children? Isn't that the objective?
read more

Meteorology, SB Style

April 2, 2007 by

Sunny, 85 degrees!
read more

UCSB Bound

March 9, 2007 by

Apparently our friends in student government want to erect a statue on campus dedicated to student activism - presumably a gold sculpture of Prometheus with his thumb up his ass.
read more

Giddy Up

March 8, 2007 by

The Breyer Horse toy company rejected the 'human's idea to have a "Godfather"-themed edition. It also said nay to the "Equus"-themed idea.
read more

Goodbye, Darling

March 7, 2007 by

Maybe the Weathermate wouldn't have left if I had just apologized more.
read more

The Sick Sense

March 6, 2007 by

The 'human is feeling under the weather, and no that isn't a joke about self-love.
read more

Love Children

March 5, 2007 by

John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change," Nickelback's "If Everyone Cared" and Five for Fighting's "World" are locked in an intense battle for douchebag supremacy.
read more

Vaginas in the Buff

March 2, 2007 by

Daily Nexus jokes during Vagina Week always smell fishy.
read more

Wall Street Wunderkind

March 1, 2007 by

The business world offers endless opportunities for upward mobility, a recently graduated business economics major told the 'human.
read more

Et tu, Brooks?

February 28, 2007 by

Brooks Firestone's hating on Chumash Casino is a rogue wave.
read more

Keeping the ‘human’ Down

February 27, 2007 by

I'm onto you, Nexus editors. You keep putting corrections in to prevent the 'human from speaking out.
read more

No Chance of Showers

February 26, 2007 by

Once the Weatherroommates go to bed, the 'human gets some alone time with the TV and the couch.
read more